I wanted you to have a perfect story
But from first breath you emerge crying
Because this world is cold
And my warmth wasn't [isn't] enough
But greater than perfection is grace, and that's what I hope for your story
I want your story to be a deluge of grace
No story is perfect, but a grace-filled story can be

I didn't want your story to hurt
But the writing of it sometimes does
Because hurting is human
And we hurt each other, we hurt ourselves, our souls, and the God who created us
But without hurt there would be no healing, and that's what I hope for your story
No story is without hurt, but a story of healing is powerful
I want your story to be powerful

I wanted you to have a story
But before your life started it was over
Because sometimes life ends too quickly
And I'm not in control [thank God I'm not in control]
But without your being and your ending I might not have grown, we affect each other
I want your story to be affective and affected
No one story is written without affecting another

Your story is not mine to write, nor wish-into reality
It's written in the moments
By a Hand greater than mine
For a purpose bigger than you or I can imagine

Your story isn't who they say your are or the lies that your mind whispers
It's not your trials, accomplishments, failures, or successes
It's not what you look like or the things that you do

Your story is
The guts you show
It's the emotions you express and the ones you learn how to control
It's the words you write and the love you give
It's the tears, the honesty, the laughter and the joy
Your story is
Giving your all and knowing your all is enough
It's choosing to see the good, and the light, and the beauty when ugly and dark threaten to steal your hope away
It's standing for what's right and believing the truth even when it seems unbelievable
It's knowing life isn't fair and doing your best anyway
Your story is
The truth written on your heart,
Inscribed through years of trial and overcoming and learning and growing
It's being okay with not being okay, but not allowing yourself to stay there
The freedom found in being yourself 

Your story,
Is not mine to write
Though sometimes I try
So instead,
I'll let your story unfold
I'll let myself be affected and hope I can affect you too
I'll pray
And I'll be here

When you succeed and when you fail
I'll be here
When you hurt and when you overcome
I'll be here
When you gut it out and when you feel like you can't
I'll be here
When you stand and when you fall
I'll be here
When you laugh and when you cry
I'll be here
When you doubt and when you're sure
I'll be here
Trusting, and modeling, and serving, loving and remembering
Because for now, you're mine to be here for

You Only Live Once

Today I watched them

Run with determination
Climb
Enthusiastically sing
Play
Dance - without reservation
Explore
Bravely try
Imagine
Excitedly jump
Fall and get back up

Today I watched them
Be
Kids

Today I watched
And realized
This thing I wanted, and expected since I can remember
I have it
I am a mom
I am their mom
Living in the middle of a dream
And I don't want to waste it
I can't waste it

They want to out run me
They want to dance with me
They want to sing with me
They want to climb with me
They want to try with me
They want me when they fall
And I get to help them back up

Me

And it's now
Ready or not
In the middle of emotions and exhaustion,
Regardless of health or illness,
Independent of goodness or insufficiency


Today I watched them be kids

Today I was here
And Today
I played
I encouraged
I danced
I praised
I sang
I reassured
I ran
I cheered
I explored
I consoled
I climbed
I inspired
I jumped

Today, I soaked up this dream
This time
And them

It's a sad a truth that we often miss the moments that we're in
Outlining the next
Or regretting a moment past

Sometimes, I forget
Distracted by challenges and weariness
That this place I am
Is where I longed to be
And exactly where I am supposed to be
I forget to play
I forget to savor it
I forget to be grateful

But not today

Being a Parent is Hard

There are nine months of growing pains
And though it's often unrealized in the moment
The uncontrollable changes to your body are just the beginning
The governance you perceived to have
Bends to the realization that you are not in control 

Then they're born 
Or sometimes they're not

And, we fight for control
Because our ideals our dreams are all we've ever tried to see
We wrestle with our sufficiency
We question why
We doubt our dream that once glistened
Now drowned in diapers, and fatigue
Or an empty crib
And our reality is rocked,
Because it's not all that we imagined
Or maybe it is - and so we hold our breath

Then they grow
Or time wanes your emotion from their absence

And still we fight
To protect, and love, and discipline, and inspire, and guide, and encourage
But they need more from us than we can give
And they have their own will
And so
We wrestle
We wrestle with them and with our inadequacies  
We question the love we show, the guidance we give
We doubt our ability to discipline, and encourage and inspire at the same time
Though we try to hold them in our hand closed and safe
Our reality isn't this assured life we pictured
It's fluctuating
Out of our control, they are out of our control

What if there was a better reality
Where the absence of control brought deliverance
And we hold our children or their memory with an open hand
What if we could live in the place of surrender and yield the fight
How would that free us of the guilt we carry for loosing babies
What if we asked for vision instead of imposing our own
What if we quit trying to appear perfect
What if we ask for and accept undeserved forgiveness
What if we allow our best to be good enough, even when it doesn't feel like it
Because
Being a parent is hard
But it's worth it

It's worth every prayer
Every tear
Every sleepless night
Every doubt
Every mistake
Every stretch mark
Every moment of grace
Most of all it's worth trading your near-sighted dream of life
For a vision of grand design, and living surrendered

"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these" - Matthew 19:14

Snapshots of our Reality TV Show

The hairbrush has gone missing again
I'm too annoyed to sing like Larry "Oh where is my hairbrush"

Breathe
There's grace for the little things
She's not organized, but always joyful in her distracted world
Her tangles don't matter as much as her spirit
A moment, I almost swallowed in emotion
I choose her joy, and helping her find the brush or asking daddy to help her find it
And the lost is found, on brothers floor - right where it belongs
Exhale

There's still milk on the table, remnants of breakfast bowl overflow
No one seems to notice except me.

Walk away,
I'm not going to let spills and our mess define my worth
And because today
He wanted to sit with me over the iPad and make a rectangle bracelet
In this moment I chose him, and rubber bands
And pretending the bracelets don't cut off circulation giving my fingers the pins and needles
Park it. Create. Stay.

There's laundry to fold and dishes to wash
Eyes heavy, body weary, zero motivation

Sit
Rest is necessary, time together doing absolutely nothing is valuable
Expectations ruin moments
Blessed that never has he expected me to be more than who I am or do more than I can
He washes the dishes, hangs the laundry, iron his own shirts
And I share his days
Hold hands. Rest. Be

Real life is being annoyed and then realizing you're over reacting
Singing like Larry will make you smile
Real life is getting swept up in tasks and then stopping to enjoy moments when you're wanted
Because it matters
Real life is not stopping, and getting annoyed when it doesn't really matter
And then giving yourself grace and a second chance
Real life is tangled fingers and sitting on the couch with a husband who just finished the dishes and falls asleep while you type and scroll through Facebook
Real life is the 8:00 rush to get kids into bed because your done being a parent for the day
And slowing down when you hear an unexpected an undeserved blessing in her prayers
It is simple- too boring for reality TV, but incredibly satisfying
All the little moments and choices compound into days and years and memories
Memories of life - our simple real life

For the Love of Today, Holding hands, Rainbow loom, JOY, and Making memorable choices,
Me

When Your 7 Year Old Drops The F*Bomb

The word rolled off her tongue and I was frozen
I couldn't have just heard what my brain is telling me I heard
Not from her,
Beautiful, funny, imaginative, barely-seven year old her
Off guard, unprepared, I couldn't process
It's just NOT something I say 
I'm conscious to watch my words, my reactions and expressions
Of course there's the occasional whispering, a taunting within
But it's always contained in my head.

The F-word I am referring to here has only three letters, not four
FAT
It was the phrase
"I look fat"

It's not like kids to keep contained the thoughts in their heads
We develop filters as we grow older
There are negatives and positives to filtering our thoughts and words
But that's another topic

Jailed inside my thought life, the jeering word lies in wait
The mirror, the scale, that certain pair of pants, hormones
It's not something I look into the mirror and walk away thinking everyday
But there are days
More days than I care to admit to that the F-word plagues my thoughts
*Who doesn't have the occasional fat-day?
But that word doesn't, ever, escape through my lips

What does escape?
Has she seen discontent in my eyes?
Has she heard my subconscious?
Maybe...

I know what she's not heard...
My verbal acknowledgement that I am beautiful.
An appreciation for my unique design
That bodies are different and I am glad to have mine.

Have I battled my weight?
Yes.
Have I longed to change the pattern of my body?
Yes.
Have I found peace and acceptance, even joy, with the creation that is me?
Yes.

I yearn for her to avoid the lies
That there is a [singular-one] perfect mold
That feeling fat or being called fat means you actually are
That your weight, or size matter just as much as who you are inside
They are lies

Yet, at seven she looked at herself and "felt fat."
And my heart sinks, with the thought -
I failed her.
Failed to protect her
Failed to speak enough truth into her
Failed by rejecting compliments
Failed in my example of loving myself

When staring in the face of failure, I see two choices
Accept it and wallow
Or tackle it and triumph

I choose triumph
I am a failure
But that is not what defines me.
Just as my definition is not found on the scale or in my size.
I choose truth
"I am wonderfully made"
"How beautiful you are my darling"
"The King is enthralled by your beauty"
I accept it
And I pray that it will take root deep inside her, inside of me, inside of you, inside of every girl, woman and man that looks at their reflection and sees anything other than wonderful.
And I pray we will not only accept it but live in it.

I am beautiful.
You are beautiful.

A Rehashing of life in 2013

1.  God is good, ALL the time.
In the middle of my mess and human insufficiency He is always enough and 100% available.

2. There is a little more grey streaking through my hair, just a little-on the right side, but my bangs provide a strategic cover for now

3.  HOMESCHOOL
I quit on day 9,
But 20 weeks later -- refer to number 1
We get funny looks when shopping at Trader Joes during "normal school hours"
There are probing questions about socialization and my children's social welfare
Then there's this undeserved praise I didn't expect - let me be honest, it's nice for people to think I'm a saint and have overwhelming patience etc.
The reality is ----- drum roll ----- I'm still me.  And I'll refer you here again to number 1!
We have our days, as with life.
There are days of great triumphs when learning is fun,
And days that 4 hours of instruction feels like 40 and we have to call the principal (I'm SO ridiculously in love with him!).
But we're in it together
I am a front row observer to their personalities, strengths and weaknesses, unfolding in the middle of math or handwriting.
I get to learn World History with them and geek out over how they can diagram a sentence
I'm silly excited about the virtual energy plant tour we're taking this week
And overall, I just can't tell you how this "thing I would never do" is changing our life
Being faithful isn't easy, but it's good

4. I've learned to ask for help.
God has been so amazing at strategically placing relationships in my life to help me with this homeschool journey, my faith, my kids, my sleep.  Again see number 1.

5. I am learning I have to say no, even to good things, so there is room for RIGHT things.  This topic deserves it's own blog post -coming soon.  If you have 7 minutes to spare watch this inspiration

6. Our life remains simple.

7.  We are blessed to have the same jobs that provide both income and balance for our family life. Me  x 11 years in June, and Jacob x 9 years.

8.  The kiddos keep growing.
E is our reader, outdoorsman, soft spoken, sometimes silly sometimes shy guitar playing man who dislikes jeans and loves athletic wear.  Legos, k-nex, and bey-blades are his toys of choice.
C is our joyful, passionate (take that how you will!), funny, always herself unashamedly all the time, pianist who still prefers dresses, and any thing fancy.  Barbie and the 50 stuffed animals that sleep in her bed fit as perfect accessory toys to her imagination.
They challenge us, encourage us, listen to us - sometimes or most of the time, they have their own opinions and we are blessed to be their parents for as long as we have them to call ours!

9. The lake remains our favorite home away from home, and we sneak away when we can from our city life and schedules to relax there.  With extended family, hide-n-seek, tag, and Monopoly is our favorite.

10. Our church family continues to be an irreplaceable part of our life.  There is no other way we would rather spend two nights a week than surrounded by those we love and share life with while hosting life group and being youth group small group leaders.

Life is sweet, though it has it's trials - God remains faithful, we have hope for a perfect eternal someday and for now we have each other.
I pray we would have a blessed New Year, that Gods faithfulness and goodness would be evident in our life, that we would have real community surrounding us, that this year we can be more honest, transparent, real and that what really matters will be what matters everyday.

In 2014 my One Word is Deep or Deeper - what's yours?

The Life of Joseph, And a Mom of Courage

The story of Joseph is complicated, filled with trials and triumphs
It is at times despairing and then hopeful
Joseph was a dreamer, a favorite, but despised, a slave, a prisoner and a ruler
His life was riddled with tribulation
But through it all God was with him

The thought of a child
Wandering - facing impossible circumstances, tests of faith and of will
It grieves my heart
I acknowledge God's sovereignty,
I don't fully understand
But I believe in His plan and purpose
I think of all the mistakes I made
And how my parents allowed me to make them
How courageous
How trusting 
How faithful they were
I can see how God has redeemed me
All of me
The mistakes, the lies
The falters in times of trial
The pain of loosing, the joy in finding the truth
I can see
How I've been refined
How I am still being refined

Yet, when I think of the lives of my children
Though I say I believe
Though I say I trust
And I want to
It's hard to open my hand and truly given these two back to Him
But faith without action is empty
The time will come when the choice is not mine to make for my children
A time when I will have to allow them to make their own mistakes
There will be a time when true faith requires the action of letting go
Believing that God will redeem
Trusting that trials refine and are the only thing that can create perseverance and hope
There will be a time when the only thing I will be able to do is let go and courageously fall to my knees
Petitioning the one who never left Joseph, has never left me
And will be an unchanging constant in the lives of the two I've been trusted with for a few short years

For the love of courage, redemption, active faith, and a constant God,
ME

Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful. - 1 Corinthians 4:2

Shake That Chekere

The sound resonated off concrete walls and cool tile floors
Rhythmic snare, bellowing bass and the smooth voices of Miss Lisa and Brother John
"Hello-how are ya- nice to meet ya"
We chanted in rhythm, and shook hands with strangers
As the jazz music played.

She danced her way to the front, arms swinging, body swaying, smile beaming.
A room filled with strangers,
Yet, there is neither cowardess or fear of judgement
She is
And they see her

I sway in my seat as if the beat itself is moving me
Taking pictures and recording moments
Toes tapping, and heart swelling
Taking in the beauty and joy she gives away
By simply,
Being
Herself

For the love of Jazz, Being free and Brave enough to share who we are on the inside, And my expressive little girl, 

ME

Moments

There is a balance to be found in the everyday
Tasks vs. Moments
Taking time and still Keeping a schedule
Normalcy or Spontaneity
It's a teeter-totter

24 hours a week I take care of critically ill children
Despite best efforts, prayers, and tears
I've stood, a helpless observer, as little ones are released into the arms of Jesus
I've watched us "save" teens for a life of dependence
Relinquishing them back into the care of their parents, hundred-plus pound forever infants

Is there any task worth missing a moment amidst the vapor of our life?

24 hours a day, 7 days a week I take care of two healthy blessings
I woke up today
We all woke up today
Fever wearies her little body
But in the midst a moment, undeserved, cherished
To be filed away for the days it's not so easy, and caring is over-thrown by selfishness
It will happen, it's just humanity
Witness this moment, watching him care warmed my soul,
And I was frozen there, watching love and relationship happen

To get on a teeter-totter alone is to be weighted on the ground
Or stuck in a continual state of effort- pushing, jumping, floundering
We need each other
But even more we need the One who can balance life for us
Cancel our debt
Offer perspective, though we may not always love it
See us for who we really are - and love us anyway
We need a relationship with the One who came with grace and truth to make God known to us
Who gives one blessings after another from the fullness of His grace
John 1:16-18

I stand, as a guide to them,
He stands as my redeemer, balancing all my mistakes, giving me more grace and undeserved blessing
And though there are days I try to control and hold them with a closed hand
Daily I am called to release them into the will and arms of Jesus
I can not save my children, but claim the promise of Isaiah 49:25
And I pray their lives will be one of dependence, relationship, and moments.

I woke up today and climbed on the teeter-totter
Praise God, He's on it with me.

" That's what a real man would do... "

The basement transformed into an eat in theater.
Feet up and Lights low,
We became silent [well, mostly silent] observers to the story...
Walter is an unsure boy.
 He's spent most of his life deciphering his mom's lies and multiple boyfriends.
But when he's cast into the lives of two mysterious great-uncles - he finds something unexpected.
The treasure of family.
Walter grows into himself and learns to trust and admire the men that originally seemed cold as he listens to the stories of his uncles adventurous past.
Woven into his uncle's story is one of true love,
Though it is shadowed by sword fights, lions, shot-guns and the weight of Walter's reality... C is captivated by what else, but the love story.
So when the evil sheik claims Uncle Hups love as his own, captures her and locks her away - it looks as though true love really does die.
But, the music crescendos, and with swords drawn Hup rushes onto the scene...
As if she was the narrator, without reservation, escalating every line C chanted
"He would fight for her!"
"He would fight for her!"
"He would fight for her! 'Cause that's what a real man would do"
J and I just smiled at each other and held back our laughter.
Both a bit in shock, yet, both knowing her exclamation to be completely consistent with who she is.
And I hope she never forgets.
Never forgets -
Who she is,
Whose she is.
And that real men should fight for the ones they love.

For the love of family movie night, true love, and my expressive little girl,
ME

"Greater love has no man than this; that he lay down his life for his friends." - John 15:13

My girl

As we walked
My heart got full, holding her hand
Her toothless smile captivated me
And our conversation danced between reality and make-believe

I wanted to net her words 

Type them

Forever captured

A description of 

Her imagination

Her joy

Her spirit

Her life as six

But

I waited 

Waited too long 

And all the details are fuzzy

The blinking cursor taunting my lack of recall

But my heart has perfect clarity

And I will remember our moment

Soaking up the sun

Hands folded together

Walking

Sharing life

Loving who we are

Thankful that God picked her to give to me

Forgiven, Loved, Beautiful

If I could pick just three words
To leave with you
Engraved in bronze, or silver, or gold
These are the three
Meant to be a guide
A reminder
And worn near your heart;


Forgiven
This word means the most
Hold it tight
Live in its truth
And
Even when it's hard
Be forgiving


Loved
You are loved
Incredibly, and Completely
And when my human love fails
HIS heavenly love endures
I love your laugh
Your smile
Your tears
Your drama
Because they are all a part of you
HE made you
And placed you in my arms
You make me better
And I hope you can understand
Someday
How full my heart is because of you
Never forget HE loved you first
Love HIM before all others
And you will forever
Be loved



Beautiful
You are beautiful
Radiance glows from your heart
And no matter your age your heart remains the same
It may hurt,
It may feel sad,
But never let it grow cold
There is beauty in everyday
Find it
And
Be beautiful
Because you are

Purple and Pumpkin Pancakes

I cradled you face
And kissed the tears away
But the pain
I couldn't kiss away
So I played with your hair
And we watched Tom & Jerry
Guarded
Brave
Loud
Resilient
That's what you are my Charlie girl
So with your purple cast
We ate pumpkin pancakes
And played left-handed tic tak toe
And we'll take each day
One
At
A
Time

For the love of  having two hands, healing, and fun color option for casts,
Me

THE Plan

When I was little I made plans;
I planned
What I would be
In vauge beautiful generalizations
A wife
A mom
And Happy
I planned
My family
In specifics that hold no true meaning (except for laughter and butterflies)
The color of  my husband eyes
His features
How he'd make me laugh and feel butterflies
What age I'd be when we said "I do"
How many kids we'd have
And what their unique, but not weird names would be

Then...
Llife happened
Pain was never a part of my plan
I didn't factor in my head-strong nature
Or selfishness

I didn't plan on seeking the Lord
He'd just always been there

When I was little
I didn't know my own faith
When life happened
And Sin derailed
I needed Him
I needed forgiveness
And
A new plan

Grace gave way to trust
And I started to understand
His plan was the Garden
A real-life experiece of community with Him
He knew we'd mess it up
People, we're messy
I
Am
Messy

So He made a new plan
It couldn't be perfect with us in it
There would be pain
But there would be forgiveness
And fulfillment
And hope
And a future...

I am a wife
I'm also a mom
Most of the time I'm happy
Really, truly happy
My husband does have brown eyes as I planned
He still gives me butterflies, eight years after saying I do
And we laugh
A LOT
I was blessed with two children, not three as planned
And they have great names
None of which came from my middle-school notebook

I'm still head-strong, and selfish
But I'm growing in submission,
Learning to get over myself
And relinquish control
I can't control if my friend has cancer
Or if another is moving half-way across the globe
I couldn't control my miscarriage
Or Ethan's stay in the NICU
I can't control my children's choices
Or keep their heart's from breaking

But I have faith
And forgiveness
My hope is eternity
And while I'm here living my messy life
He listens to my prayers
He cares about what I want
He loves me
He gives me more grace
And He is good

For the Love of less planning, more trust, looking forward to eternity and faith that's real in the middle of this messy life,
ME

Blink

I take in a deep breath
And close my eyes
Wasn't is just yesterday I held you against my chest
Dozing
In our quiet house
On the green couch
Didn't we just wrestled for control
Itchy tags
Undies and red sweat pants
Weren't you just sitting in the grocery cart
Snacking
Spilling
Whining
Didn't she just get here and make you sad
Wasn't it last night we were too tired
And when you cried
Because of the monsters
We let you sleep with us

It all seems like yesterday
A blink and the years of cuddles fade into watching you walk yourself into school.
You're mine for only God knows how many blinks.
So I'll do my best
To make meaningful memories
To love you in a way you understand
To guide you
And to hold you with an open hand
Trusting
God's plan for your life

For the love of being your mom, drinking in the moments, trust for the future, and memories
ME

Have the day you have...

His smile, my eyes
My temper, his patience
Puzzle pieces of us that make you all your own
HE put you together
Then
Gave us the privilege
Of
Holding you
Singing together
Pasting, coloring and painting
Watching you grow
Dancing
Learning from you
Loving you
Running beside you
Laughing because of you
Baking with you
Making mistakes
Twirling
Hurting for you
Knowing forgiveness
Teaching you
Breathing you in
Everyday
While you are ours to have
And while we hope the having lasts, there is no amount of time that could ever be too much
So we will love you for you
Continue to make mistakes
And HAVE the days we have

For the love of "The Odd Life of Timothy Green," days filled with each other, mistakes, forgiveness and puzzle pieces of us,
Me

Odd: differing from that which is usual, ordinary or expected

I hope so

Words of a memory for A.D.R.

Times tables
Sock eraser
Chalk
And kleenex box friends

Bad perms
Bomb threats
Single file walks
And prayer

Basketball
Slumber parties
Nightmares
And scary movies

FCCLA
Elf costumes
Presentations
And dreams in San Diego


Blond streaks and red turned purple
Trendy cuts
Dance moves
And dresses


Locker partners
Cheerleader and jock
First loves
And first heart aches

Falling away
Repentance
Renewed commitment
And accountability

Grey and Purple
Student IDs
Wildcat games
And husband introduction

Campbell's chicken and rice
Maid of honor
Shopping
And Fire safety

Trips to the mall
M&M Blizzards
Scripture study
And lifegroup

His first marriage choice
Her first prophecy
Writing
And new phases of life

I don't remember every wanting a sister

But for as long as I can remember I've had you
Maybe that's why

For the love of memories made with you A.D.R. (soon to be ADD), new chapters, husbands, adventures and the hope which brings joy of sharing eternity,
Me 

And I thought...

The playlist ceased
The quiet encompassed
Just the sound of friction
Black rubber tires spinning against the hot concrete
And I thought of you
Laughter, banter, snacking, and voices too loud you


Golden arches littered the roadside
And I thought of you
Joy from cheap toys, sipping, and devouring


The pale blue sky stretched
Meeting the dusty earth
Hemmed together with trees
The clouds shifted, a dancing fairy waived her wand unafraid of the fierce dragon
And I thought of you
Colorful imagination, creating, directing, and dress up

The ice cream-peanutbutter cup mixture melted
And I thought of you
Messy chins, napkins, and M&M's

The road turned familiar
Cars outnumbered cows
Grey lanes marked with white and yellow replaced the pale brown fields
My foot fell heavy on the pedal
And I thought of you
My children, my home

Firsts

Donuts
Juice
And Sausage
The breakfast of champions
On
Another first day of school
This year 1st grade...
Details are not his forte
But his summary made me smile
"It started off perfect and ended perfect"
His high for the day shared at dinner was
"Two recesses"
Lunch was shared with
"Annabel"
And they talked about
"What was going on"
His astute observation when asked about new friends was
"It takes a little while to make friends mom, but I did learn a few names"
In start contrast to our simple, factual, sometimes moody son...
Pouty lips graced her beautiful face as we walked home
Required to wait until Wednesday to officially start her school year
And
"disappointed I don't get to stay all day"
Sister sulked for approximately 1.75 hours
Through crayon labeling
And backpack packing
Until it was Kindergarten conference time
Her turn
It took her all of 2 seconds to make a new "friend" (whose name escapes her) during her brief Kindergarten conference.
FYI I'm not sure how keen I am on the Justin Bieber backpack carrying friend - but hey she's a 2 second friend...so let's not jump to conclusions
She's passionate, imaginative and more ready for this first than mom

For the Love of growing up, working through disappointments, new friends, new names, and both perfect beginings and endings,
ME

The season after spring

It's busy, and full
Full of
Togetherness,
Laughter,
Heat,
Fishing,
Time,
Swimming,
Sweat,
Sunscreen,
Running,
Water,
Band-aid's
And a little irritation
The kind that comes with lack of routine and increased presence of each other
But
It's the giggles,
Smiles,
Courage - to try and to be
Encouragement,
Imagination,
And capacity for more
That lingers in my mind
Little hands, that are much bigger than they used to be, rest in my palm
While Crossing the street or shopping for groceries
Little hands that now hold pom-poms and baseball bats
And little voices that have real conversations,
And tell me they prayed for me and hope I have a good night while taking care of the sick kids
Cutely-wrong words are seldom spoken
Rather, books are read, aloud and "in heads"
It's not been full of learning, except learning more about each other
And how to be what we need to one another
I've gotten out of the habit of doing laundry because J loves me so well
The house is a place for rest and nourishment between activities and travel
Hamsters, turtles, snakes and cats are easy pets but
Elle misses us dearly,
Or is she just extra loving because she's pinning for a scoop of non-diet food ?


For the Love of long summer days, time, fat-cats, clean laundry, and growing up
Me