I cradled you face
And kissed the tears away
But the pain
I couldn't kiss away
So I played with your hair
And we watched Tom & Jerry
Guarded
Brave
Loud
Resilient
That's what you are my Charlie girl
So with your purple cast
We ate pumpkin pancakes
And played left-handed tic tak toe
And we'll take each day
One
At
A
Time

For the love of  having two hands, healing, and fun color option for casts,
Me

It's okay

There's something about
The lights
The garland
The sound of carols
And an empty stocking holder
She was a present
Wrapped up tightly
And then
In a moment that seemed untimely
She wasn't

But the lights sparkled
The garland was still green
The carolers crooned
And
It's okay
It didn't hurt
It wasn't sad
It was just a memory
Of something that made me stronger
Helped me grow
And I smiled
As I hung the star in her place
Because its not really empty
It's filled with hope
And
It's okay

Authentic?

I was invited, probably like everyone else who has a .blogspot account, to join a new blogging platform site.  

Storylane

Before jumping into this unknown world I did some Internet exploring

And happened on this quote- "Linking my accounts and attaching my full name is not the way to achieve authenticity from me at least.  And it’s also a little insulting that they assume your real name is your real identity. It’s the 21st century. We’re all living on the internet. Identity has gotten a lot more complicated."  Posted by handle "Onehandclap" (what does that handle stand for anyway, is it supposed to be ironic?)

SAD

Is this real life?

Do people float through life as one person and mascarade as another online?

How can you live authentically if you're lying about something as simple as your name?

Being authentic is 

Saying what you mean

Meaning what you say

Living out loud

In a way that represents your beliefs

Identity is only as complicated as you let it be

And todays culture is way too wrapped up in self-discovery

If only we could lay ourselves down for a second

Understand its not about me,

And

Seek God

There you'll find 

Identity

Truth

Purpose 

And Life

Easy for me to see at 30, and something I wish I would have grasped at 15

Its a beautiful lie, that deceit is a great escape, 

You will escape, and before you know it 

You're life is not your own, but belongs to the lie

Tell yourself the truth 

And when you can't,

Be living the kind of authentic life that holds real flesh and blood people

Who will

Today

Find what gives life
What renews yours
Learn how to be real
Share what matters
Loose what doesn't
Live with purpose
Walk with conviction
Cry
File memories
Laugh, a lot
Save
Take pictures
Kiss
Hold on, but not too tight
Give
Love, in obvious and quiet ways
Read
Play in the rain
Soak up the sun
Pray
Rest
Eat well, and indulge a little
Sing
Listen
Speak, but think first
Be thankful
Loose sleep so you can be there
It's just sleep
Invest in people, not things
Forgive

Be patient

Take risks

Be brave in The Lord

Trust

Breathe 

Choose wisely

Seek God

Be a part of something bigger than yourself 

And 

Do It Well

Because 

We get today

Breaking Dawn, Loosing Sleep and BCS Scores

The finale to

My 4 year Twilight indulgence
A source of, questionably-deserved, ridicule
I admit to being 30
Silly
And a hopeless romantic
Who's hopelessly in love with her husband
So when he teases
Because he does
I remind him I'm into tall skinny guys
Especially the one I married
And while sparkly vampires and werewolves ARE silly
So is the weekly excitement that accompanies the BCS ranking release
And he laughs at me

Monday was the movie marathon
(1 lifelong friend + 4 movies) x4 children = A day I wouldn't trade for 8 hours of solid sleep
Lost in friendship, and make-believe
Surrounded by the chaos of animal crackers, dolls and markers

Saturday was movie day
(1 lifelong friend + popcorn and coke) - 4 children = Pure enjoyment
I'm not a critic
Generally, I only spend money on movies I think I'll enjoy
I wasn't disappointed
Breaking Dawn was just as I had hoped
And now it's over

So I'll go back to being 30
Silly
A hopeless romantic
Mommy
Friend
And forever head-over heels with my own personal version of Edward

For the love of make-believe, romance, Twilight, and friendship,
Me

Battle

From a foggy dream we awake

The mirror reflects our imperfections

We beg for strength 

And whisper words of gratitude

While strapping on invisible armor 

We clothe our bodies 

And ready our hearts

We brace for another day

In an imperfect world

Filled with unseen enemies

And angelic warriors

It's more than just another day

It's a battle for the hearts of men

Salvation belongs to The Lord

The battle is won

Yet

We're call to fight

For the love of hope-especially on the heavy days, and fighting the good fight 

Me

"They will make war against the Lamb, but the Lamb will overcome them because He is the Lord of Lords and King of kings-and with Him will be His called, chosen and faithful followers,". 

-Revelation 17:14

"And there was before me a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True."

-Revelation 19:11b

Come Lord Jesus

Express yourself

Eyes squinted
Lips pursed and pouted
Arms crossed hugging his chest
Argumentative words
Angry
Head buried
In hands that cup her face
Tears streaming hot across her reddened cheeks
Words spoke in staccato
Dramatic

I may not cross my arms
Or bury my head to cry
But
I
still
get
angry
And
sometimes
I
am
dramatic

Childlike or Grown up
It's about our expression
Learning to cope
There are a lot of grown ups
Who are just, simply
Taller

We all have our moments
And that's okay
But
Instead of looking inside
I need to look UP
And give up
From the inside out
Unfold my spirit of defiance
Cry tears of repentance
And
LIVE
with expression
Worthy of the call

For the love of growing up, raising little grown-ups, appropriate self-expression and being more than tall,
Me