This is a face forever altered in wrinkles and worry lines
These eyes have been bled dry of tears and yet they still cry
This smile is genuine
But these lips have mouthed prayers of confusion and desperation while simultaneously cursing the battle of mental health and eating disorders
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Before this began
I thought I was a good mom…
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Before this began
I thought God was good…
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Mental health battles tear you up from the inside out - they’re gut wrenching, guilt producing, and make you question everything
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Here’s what I know
You didn’t choose to have an eating disorder
I didn’t give it to you either
Somehow we’re both stuck with it
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And GOD
“He does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have HOPE. Because of the Lord’s great LOVE we are not consumed for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning, GREAT is Your Faithfulness oh God.”
Lamentations 3 (selections)
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God I’m not patient, nor am I used to this dependent waiting
I am learning to trust You with my every moment
That it’s okay to live in the moments
And that to be confused and angry with You is okay too
You can handle my emotion
You don't change, You are not dependent on my feelings
You are trustworthy
You are faithful
You are good, even when my life is not
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I am a good mom
I have a great kid
And God - HE is good
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