Thoughts of you...

The scent of sawdust, a pencil covered in wirey curls resting behind your ear
Levi jeans that required constant tinkering
2x4's, concrete, insulation, sheet rock and shingles

And trading it all for
Aluminum shavings, a new kind of blueprint, CNC machines and a desk chair complete with computer
The jeans stayed the same

Campfires, eggs and bacon in a cast iron skillet
The rumble of a boat motor and cool-muddy water
Directions shouted in love and time taken to teach us how to ski

A coach who played to win
A fan who yelled from the stands
And a dad who encouraged me to do my best, and supported me success or failure

Hugs that squeeze tight enough to take my breath away
A playful display of affection for mom
And the phrase "If I didn't give you a hard time, how would you know I loved you"

An example who reads and teaches the Word of God
Prayers lifted up
Songs sung in boisterous spirit, no matter the vocal talent

I love you Dad - Happy Father's Day

Second chances

I'll never forget that day in the driveway...your look of sadness and the words "I thought you were different, I'm so disappointed"
But what I remember most is your strong embrace that came after.
So enveloping and tight; it was almost as if you were shrinking me back, back to your little girl.
The one who didn't hurt you, the one who gave you joy.
But I would bring you joy again; I would be different- not perfect, but different.

Fun Summer-habits

The last couple of weeks...
Ethan has ridden his bike while Charlie and I walk at an easily distracted-"Charlie-pace" just steps behind...
Together we've trekked to the CVS to spend chore money; for Ethan a rubber-band-airplane (which is already broken) new crayons and "lipstick" for Charlie (Cotton-candy lip smackers).
We've frequented the local ice cream parlor and eaten drippy-colorful ice cream cones outside in the humid heat.
A special with-daddy trip to the grocery-store, where daddy forgot to buy the card, but Ethan and Charlie got a $1 worth of candy.
All afoot, or on bike
We've chalked the dull canvas of our driveway creating an ocean, outer-space, body-outlines, shapes, and claimed it all by signing our names.
We've gone bug-hunting under rocks and in the mulch.
We've cooled off in the sprinkler and splashed in the over-flowing blue plastic pool.
We've worn suncreen enough that today Ethan said "oh, mom don't forget to put suncreen on me - I don't want to get a sunburn"
We've stayed up late and slept in.

Finding joy, wonder and inspiration in the little things...and I love it.

Airport

Conspicuously open seats between patiently waiting travelers
Couples sit together, but headphones and books separate
I pods - shuffling
Cells phones - texting, talking, organizing and emailing
Lap tops - typing, googling, working, blogging
Business dress, business-casual, casual, pajamas
TV's on reporting the latest world news; election protests in another place, new-health plan proposal, US budget mess, DOW and stock progress
A group of teens huddle together - laughing, smiling and carefree as they await their impending journey
And here I sit, in the middle of the media-overload
An open seat between me and the woman quietly working on her blackberry
My foot tapping as "Fix You" by Coldplay creates a quiet soundtrack in my head
And although we share this space, we don't share
My heart cries out; Are you OK, are you happy, are you burdened, are you hurting?
I can't fix you - but I know who can...

Gratitude

Heavy-warm-brown eyes twinkled staring deep into my own and with an honest, and loving tone Ethan joyfully proclaimed "Mommy, thank you so much for letting us sleep in the tent all night."
His gratitude was worth the back-pain from the hard, uneven ground (Jacob and I had relinquished the air-mattress to the kids). Their excitement and delight was too great to disappoint them by forcing them trade and sleep on the "bed" we had fashioned from sleeping bags for them.
It was our first camp-out with the kids. The back-yard was sufficient, after-all it is an island, a jungle, a forest, and a dessert, the ideal spot to pitch a tent and "rough-it". We applied copious amounts of "bug-screen"(as Ethan called it) and lit a "fire" (Citronella candle) to ward-away the mosquitoes. Marshmallows roasted on sticks over a real wood fire, contained within the smoker, created the gooey-sticky center to our chocolaty bedtime snack (smores). Charlie's turtle cast green and blue stars and moon shapes on the ceiling of the tent and our lantern lit the pages of Dr. Seuss. Tongue tied we recited rhymes until the darkness of night enveloped us and it was time for sleep. We only had to remind you "heads on pillow" and threaten moving inside a handful of times before you settled into your covers and let your eyelids close.
The pictures I captured will remind me of this fun first, but nothing can compare to the memory or fully describe the joy that illuminated your faces this cool, peaceful summer night. It was a wonderful campout.