An honest reflection of me- in fragments. Imperfect- Grace Covered. Balance. Mom. Wife.
Nurse. Homeschool Teacher. Christ follower first. Second changes. Thankful.


Tuesday, October 29, 2013

If I told you I believed in Heaven
A place filled with perfection
Filled with the presence of God, Jesus and all His angels
A place I long for
A place I will be just as I am minus the slips, falls and imperfections
A place I fit NOT because of me
But because I am covered in the perfect sacrifice and redemption of Jesus

What would you say?

If I told you I believe the Bible is true
It's Words are life
It is itself alive and active
It is relevant
That it would be written exactly the same today as it was then
It is a weapon for us to use against the devil
And it's a letter from our Creator to us - for the revelation of His character, love, grace, and our purpose

Would you agree?

If I said that Hell is a real place
A place of eternal darkness, despair and anger
A place where the hope of forgiveness, redemption and relationship with God is forever lost
A place where the devil reigns,
That the devil is real and so are his demons
That hell is a place that the devil wants you to believe isn't real

How would you respond?

What if I told you these three things, Heaven, Hell and The Bible, will endure
Longer than this life - for they were before us and go on without us
For all of eternity
Unchanging - except for those that find citizenship there daily.
This is my reality.
But it's not just mine - it is reality
It is reality that so many choose to deny

"It is funny how mortals always picture us as putting things into their minds: in reality our best work is done by keeping things out.” 
― C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

For the Love of reality checks, truth, and striving to live in the power of eternal reality,
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The Plague Of Enough

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Serving enough?
Giving enough?
Working enough?
Resting enough?
Loving enough?
Talking enough?
Listening enough?
Compassionate enough?
Doing enough?

And how much is enough?

The question nags at our souls and leaves us feeling inadequate.
There is no answer for enough.
There is always more.

But He came to be enough for us.

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." - Romans 8:1-2

Because He is enough
In Him, we too are enough

The plague of enough is one of the world
A world of joy stealing comparison
A world full of judgement clouding pride
And a world full of decisions made in impatience
A world of inadequate circumstances, situations and people
Who desperately need set free from themselves
And immersed in Christ

In this world
We are enough as ourselves in Christ 
Created to be in Him
Free from comparison
Free from pride
Full of long-suffering in a world that is temporary

"He has showed you what is good.  And what does the Lord require of you?  To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." - Micah 6:8 

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The Life of Joseph, And a Mom of Courage

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

The story of Joseph is complicated, filled with trials and triumphs
It is at times despairing and then hopeful
Joseph was a dreamer, a favorite, but despised, a slave, a prisoner and a ruler
His life was riddled with tribulation
But through it all God was with him

The thought of a child
Wandering - facing impossible circumstances, tests of faith and of will
It grieves my heart
I acknowledge God's sovereignty,
I don't fully understand
But I believe in His plan and purpose
I think of all the mistakes I made
And how my parents allowed me to make them
How courageous
How trusting 
How faithful they were
I can see how God has redeemed me
All of me
The mistakes, the lies
The falters in times of trial
The pain of loosing, the joy in finding the truth
I can see
How I've been refined
How I am still being refined

Yet, when I think of the lives of my children
Though I say I believe
Though I say I trust
And I want to
It's hard to open my hand and truly given these two back to Him
But faith without action is empty
The time will come when the choice is not mine to make for my children
A time when I will have to allow them to make their own mistakes
There will be a time when true faith requires the action of letting go
Believing that God will redeem
Trusting that trials refine and are the only thing that can create perseverance and hope
There will be a time when the only thing I will be able to do is let go and courageously fall to my knees
Petitioning the one who never left Joseph, has never left me
And will be an unchanging constant in the lives of the two I've been trusted with for a few short years

For the love of courage, redemption, active faith, and a constant God,

Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful. - 1 Corinthians 4:2
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I wonder....

Sunday, October 6, 2013

I came across this article posted online in the Kansas City Star
Side Note: It is a sad but true reality that the majority of my news input is found on Facebook
In the above article a furloughed employee is quoted as saying:
"We didn't create the government or the programs we work on.  HUD doesn't get lots of attention, but we help keep roofs over the heads of millions of senior citizens, handicapped folks and kids."
And that's true.
This man didn't create HUD,
Neither did my father-in-law (also furloughed) create the EPA
I would venture a guess most people accepted jobs they had a passion for
Helping people, sustaining the environment.
At least I hope that's the motivation.
Caring, Meeting needs.

Typically the government and it's issues don't spur me to conversation
I would even describe myself, at times, as politically apathetic
That statement has it's own set of issues, but I'm not going to divulge those now.

We have come to this place of dependence and complacency
A place where we turn to a government, and it's programs for help rather than God.
Creator of the Universe - who spoke, spoke the stars into existence
Ruler over all - who establishes Kings and give authority
Who can also destroy kingdoms and establish new
Who sent the true light that gives light to every man into the world
And God,
Who loved us enough to send a Savior to redeem us back to Him

Why do we look anywhere but to Him?
Because we are an impatient people
Seeking the immediate rather than the eternal.
We are a  selfish people
Prone to follow our hearts rather than search for truth.
We are a needy people
In need of redemption and faith
True faith, that dictates our actions, and limits our reactions.

And where is the Church?
Are we living the religion that is acceptable as pure and faultless?
"to look after orphans and widows in their distress"
AND "to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

We can argue regulations, people, natural consequences, justice, societal norms and math.
But are we living it?
Where is the Church?
Are we;
Devoted to the apostles teaching?
Devoted to the fellowship, and to the breaking of bread?
Devoted to prayer?
Are we filled with awe at the miraculous power of God?
Giving to to everyone as he has need?
Are we glad with sincere hearts?

Father you've not been secretive in what you desire.
Where am I?
Do not let me be deceived.
I am a piece of your church a small brick joined to the Cornerstone.
Uniquely purposed and positioned.
Am I living it?  
Is there worldly pollution of my soul?
Again, Father do not let me deceive myself - but spur me on to love and good deeds as I am called
While my body is here, may I be faithful
Faithful to live as a stranger and alien
With a sincere heart, imitating the faith of the leaders who spoke the Word of God, considering the outcome of their way of life.
The outcome is eternal.
Show me how I need to sacrifice the immediate to be the living stone you've called me to be.

Hebrews 13:7,  James 1:27, 1 Peter 2:4-10, Acts 2:42-47, Jeremiah 17:9, Romans 3:22-24, John 3:16, John 1:9, Genesis 1:14-18, Romans 13:1, Luke 1:52, Colossians 1:16, James 2:14-18

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Shake That Chekere

Saturday, October 5, 2013

The sound resonated off concrete walls and cool tile floors
Rhythmic snare, bellowing bass and the smooth voices of Miss Lisa and Brother John
"Hello-how are ya- nice to meet ya"
We chanted in rhythm, and shook hands with strangers
As the jazz music played.

She danced her way to the front, arms swinging, body swaying, smile beaming.
A room filled with strangers,
Yet, there is neither cowardess or fear of judgement
She is
And they see her

I sway in my seat as if the beat itself is moving me
Taking pictures and recording moments
Toes tapping, and heart swelling
Taking in the beauty and joy she gives away
By simply,

For the love of Jazz, Being free and Brave enough to share who we are on the inside, And my expressive little girl, 

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Wednesday, October 2, 2013

There is a balance to be found in the everyday
Tasks vs. Moments
Taking time and still Keeping a schedule
Normalcy or Spontaneity
It's a teeter-totter

24 hours a week I take care of critically ill children
Despite best efforts, prayers, and tears
I've stood, a helpless observer, as little ones are released into the arms of Jesus
I've watched us "save" teens for a life of dependence
Relinquishing them back into the care of their parents, hundred-plus pound forever infants

Is there any task worth missing a moment amidst the vapor of our life?

24 hours a day, 7 days a week I take care of two healthy blessings
I woke up today
We all woke up today
Fever wearies her little body
But in the midst a moment, undeserved, cherished
To be filed away for the days it's not so easy, and caring is over-thrown by selfishness
It will happen, it's just humanity
Witness this moment, watching him care warmed my soul,
And I was frozen there, watching love and relationship happen

To get on a teeter-totter alone is to be weighted on the ground
Or stuck in a continual state of effort- pushing, jumping, floundering
We need each other
But even more we need the One who can balance life for us
Cancel our debt
Offer perspective, though we may not always love it
See us for who we really are - and love us anyway
We need a relationship with the One who came with grace and truth to make God known to us
Who gives one blessings after another from the fullness of His grace
John 1:16-18

I stand, as a guide to them,
He stands as my redeemer, balancing all my mistakes, giving me more grace and undeserved blessing
And though there are days I try to control and hold them with a closed hand
Daily I am called to release them into the will and arms of Jesus
I can not save my children, but claim the promise of Isaiah 49:25
And I pray their lives will be one of dependence, relationship, and moments.

I woke up today and climbed on the teeter-totter
Praise God, He's on it with me.
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