Memaw is here
And today is Memaw date day
Sun shining, bright moods, and time off school

Plans were laid out for an adventurous day
Excitement could not be contained
There were shouts of joy
Lots of them

Following a Chick-Fil-A lunch
The perfect start to any date when kids are involved
(and sometimes when they're not!)
E began to proclaim
BEST! DAY! EVER!
But his "BEST" was cut short in thought
Sounding more like "Beeeeeee...hmmm
And Followed by...
"I'm not sure I can say best day ever, because I haven't had all my days...
But when I've had all my days then I'll be dead..."
To which C interjected, "but you'll be in heaven"
"GOOD DAY EVER!"  E shouted
And repeated and repeated
And Repeat x a thousand
Laughing and enjoying his day

So here's to enjoying the days
Because this one we have
And if its shaping up to be what might seem like the best
Call it out
Recognize the joy in the moment
The blessing of right now
 as GOOD!
And may you all have a GOOD DAY EVER!

For the love of happy children, an incredible mom who is now an incredible Memaw, and a good day!
Me

Brave

His brown eyes sincere and sweet
With a shading of ornery
Believing, Trusting, Kind

If I had it my way
I would not choose this
This family
It's messy and awkward

But he sees the good
The potential
The need
And so he did what was needed.
And invited him to church

His invitation opened the door
For conversation
A glimpse into their reality
And empathy

His invitation opened the door
To her asking about my beliefs
1 Peter 3:15
And I laid it all out
The fall
Our need for a savior
Jesus - God's son
A perfect life lived
Death on a cross - the penalty for our sins
Paid
Acceptance of God's grace
Belief
Baptism
The transferring of Jesus perfection onto us
Learning to live for God's purpose
Acting in obedience because of love

Still, she had hesitation
But a seed was planted
And permission granted
We could take her son to church

He forced me to be brave
And I hope we're all better for it
All for the glory of God

Why I Care...

"Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord...But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him.

- Jeremiah 17:5&7

 
Rummaging through a box of high school memories I found a paper I wrote 13 years ago
A paper on beauty
Beauty that is more than skin deep
Beauty that radiates from the inside-out

I've been trying to reconcile within me
The girl who wrote that,
The girl that knew the truth,
But acted as
A girl who did not believe it.

The one too self-conscious to take a compliment
The one who always wanted a boyfriend
And settled for less than God's best
It was a slow, progressive stripping of beauty

One, seemingly insignificant, compromise
Leading to life compromises
Lying
Shame

Frozen, by the fear of being unforgivable
Polluted by the world
A white washed tomb
Holding only to a form of godliness

It was a slow walk into the darkness
But there I was
My light, just a flicker
Blinded

Ugly
Duplicitous
Hypocrite
But conscious stricken

Yet, when confession lead to disappointment
It was hard to believe in forgiveness
And
The fading continued

Compromises have consequences
Painful consequences
Alienating consequences
And eventually, the pain took over

Like a bad dream
I had taken something beautiful
And wasted it

So I lay on sunflowers
Surrounded by pills
A utility knife
And contemplated

When a knock interrupted my thoughts
She came to say she was thinking of me
We sat outside
I lied and said I was "fine"

I remember it was windy, or cold
Or maybe it was me
Maybe I was cold
Tossed and void

She said she was praying for me
We said goodbye
I closed the door
And washed my soul in tears

That was the beginning of a renewed belief
Belief in forgiveness
A personalized faith
Redemption
Relationship
Beauty
God

And a new walk
This time, out of the darkness
Many steps to take
But steps, I would not take alone

Steps into life
Life that lasts
Life that is meaningful
Still sometimes messy
But full of grace
And everyday redemption

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the dessert and streams in the wasteland."
- Isaiah 43:18-19


 "Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone the new has come!
- 2 Corinthians 5:17 

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." - 2 Corinthians 1:3

He took the ugly
Gave it purpose
And set in my heart - an aching for those fighting through the darkness
All for His glory
I Care
Because He cares
And He calls me too

My girl

As we walked
My heart got full, holding her hand
Her toothless smile captivated me
And our conversation danced between reality and make-believe

I wanted to net her words 

Type them

Forever captured

A description of 

Her imagination

Her joy

Her spirit

Her life as six

But

I waited 

Waited too long 

And all the details are fuzzy

The blinking cursor taunting my lack of recall

But my heart has perfect clarity

And I will remember our moment

Soaking up the sun

Hands folded together

Walking

Sharing life

Loving who we are

Thankful that God picked her to give to me

My friends mod-podge, staple gun and hot glue

Thanks to Pintrest
And my biological clock sensing Spring
In spite of the snow
I've been projecting
Not putting my feeling onto others
And irrationally hiding from my own psychological dysfunction
Project-ING
Completing projects

First I took our mail-littered, cluttered counter

EMBARASSING

I Put away the Z-Bars

And made a filing system

Each file uniquely it's own shade or pattern 

Mod-podge, card-stock, ugly green hanging files and a clear hanging file box from Target (clearance)

Which made my counter look like

We shall see how long I'm able to keep it like this :)

NEXT 

Re-purposing old frames

Glass was broken, fame color didn't match

Enter acrylic paint, foam-sponge brushes

Burlap

Hot glue

Foam Board

Push pins

AND.....

Broken, Vintage (aka old), Rescued (aka my friends found it cleaning out their basement)

Window

Thoroughly cleaned

Made to look shabby-chic with some acrylic blue pain (dry brush technique and water)

Verse (a 2013 family verse), written in paint pen

Wooden G from Hobby Lobby (painted white)

Card stock

WALLAH!

I also re-covered our dining room chairs

Our two have a habit of using the cushion for a napkin

And these chairs have been with us the duration of their lives

From baby food to cereal and spilled milk

They were gross

You'll just have to trust me

Tool screwdriver to remove cushion from chair

Fabulous upholstery fabric from Hobby Lobby (SALE)

And my trusty staple gun

TA-DAH....Craftastic!

For the love of hot glue, turning on the creative, my staple gun and motivation to make change-cheap,

ME

Report Card

We're in the phase of life
Where S and S+ are the desired letters of choice
As I reviewed the cards stating my children's time in school was
"Satisfactory" or "Satisfactory +"
E asked if he had a good report
And we read through all the subject and his teachers comments
Yes, he had a good report.
And then over his soggy bowl frosted flakes, with the questionable milk
A life moment
"Mom, what's my spiritual report card look like?"
Deep breath
Pause
"Well...buddy, I think that's between you and God."
And that's true,
But sitting here in the quiet
After the rush of back-packs, lunch packing, shoes, cleaning up the soggy cereal, spilling the mouth wash, changing clothes, washing faces, brushing teeth, jumping in the car and then out again.
I want to answer different...
Because I'm pretty sure our card, at least my card records a lot of ugly things
U for unsatisfactory, N for needs improvement
And L for lost
But covering all the ugly words, unloving moments, failures and imperfections is one word
JESUS
And a big letter S for SAVED
---We'll have this talk later with scripture references.

For the Love of second chances to have moments that matter,
Me