An honest reflection of me- in fragments. Imperfect- Grace Covered. Balance. Mom. Wife.
Nurse. Homeschool Teacher. Christ follower first. Second changes. Thankful.


Tuesday, September 25, 2012

I take in a deep breath
And close my eyes
Wasn't is just yesterday I held you against my chest
In our quiet house
On the green couch
Didn't we just wrestled for control
Itchy tags
Undies and red sweat pants
Weren't you just sitting in the grocery cart
Didn't she just get here and make you sad
Wasn't it last night we were too tired
And when you cried
Because of the monsters
We let you sleep with us

It all seems like yesterday
A blink and the years of cuddles fade into watching you walk yourself into school.
You're mine for only God knows how many blinks.
So I'll do my best
To make meaningful memories
To love you in a way you understand
To guide you
And to hold you with an open hand
God's plan for your life

For the love of being your mom, drinking in the moments, trust for the future, and memories

Share this Post Share to Facebook Share to Twitter Email This Pin This Share on Google Plus Share on Tumblr


Friday, you turned seven
This is what I wrote:

Seven years ago today
It was
wires, tubes
deep breaths
exhaustion, anticipation
Today it's
pancakes, bacon
too much sticky syrup
skipping school
and still

For the love of enduring fleeting temporary pain, watching you grow, skipping school and birthdays,

Share this Post Share to Facebook Share to Twitter Email This Pin This Share on Google Plus Share on Tumblr


Tuesday, September 4, 2012

My eyes scanned the words
Full of
And Fear disguised as pride and disdain

As my lips formed each name
I watched his heart break
A role call of the lost

Amidst the blinding fog of hostility
How do you shine
"For God, who said 'let light shine out of darkness,' made His light to shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ." - 2 Corinthians 4:6

When a cloak of slander threatens to envelope
How do you hope
"'If the world hates you, keep in mind it hated me first...Remember the words I spoke to you; No servant is greater than his master.  If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also.'"

As worldly knowledge challenges and confronts
How do you believe
"Now it is required that those given a trust must prove faithful." 1 Corinthians 4:2

And when the darkness of hate clouds the light
How do you love
"But God demonstrates His own love for us in this; While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

It takes no courage to tear down
Belief in inconsistent worldly truth is still faith
There is no risk in fitting-in

Love builds up
Belief in an unchanging truth is a faith that matters
And the risk of giving yourself wholly to something bigger than you
Is worth it

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline." Proverbs 1:7

"Do not be surprised, my brothers, if the world hates you." 1 John 3:13

"Have I not commanded you, Be strong and courageous, do not be discouraged, do not be terrified for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

"Greater is HE that is in you than he that is in the world."1 John 4:4b

"I have told you these things, so in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

For the love of hope, risking it all, standing in love under persecution, my husband, and FCA

Share this Post Share to Facebook Share to Twitter Email This Pin This Share on Google Plus Share on Tumblr

Favorite Reflections

  • I've been on a silent journey For a year, I explained the pain and weakness away, it was the gardening or hormones or in my hea...
  • Dear Baby Girl (you're gone) -- You would be five, but your body never was and instead you're just a beautiful soul I don'...
  • The word rolled off her tongue and I was frozen I couldn't have just heard what my brain is telling me I heard Not from her, Beautifu...
  • The house is hurriedly swept, papers stashed, candles that smell of cookies lit, laundry hidden away, dinner inhaled - dishes entombed, and...
  • Being a nurse was always where my heart was set So all the Sunday dinners I missed I can not regret Because caring for others' hurts, ...
  • There's orange shag carpet covering the floor Cards slide across the wooden table as kids make sound effects from behind the couch The...
  • My sweet sisters, You proudly proclaim God as sovereign and Lord and resign to His timing in so much of your life,  But, concer...
  • It's a mindless phrase I pray Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for this day But today A wife woke up to an empty place in her bed ...
  • To all the Mom's  Sacrifice comes easy at first, it starts with your body and then it's your sleep - until you realize it'...
  • I sat on top of a mountain The majesty of creation stretched before me Pairs of eyes gazed into mine With quivering knees A vulnerable h...