You are not alone.
This war is not yours only to wage.
There are other girls, other boys, other moms, other dads, other sisters and brothers, grandmothers, grandfathers and friends who have been affected by mental illness.
There is hope.
You are not alone.
There is healing.
To read the battle tale of others, and know that the fight is won in the fighting.
There is strength.
Vulnerability of your reality brings love, support and the prayers of many that strengthen on the days you don't have the strength (and there will be days....)
And
There is power in knowledge.
These resources, while certainly not exhaustive were personally helpful to me. To grasp even a small understand of the thing we were fighting was immeasurably empowering. Yes, WE - not him, but US.
Family Based Therapy or the Maudsley approach encourages all members of the family to fight together each with their own roles and responsibilities - more on that later.
* Holy Bible This book is more than a book to me. Here I found and find daily strength and encouragement to fight against the spiritual attack that accompanied/accompanies the metabolic crisis and eating disorder diagnosis. During our two-week hospital stay I read through Ephesians using a Katie Orr FOCUSED 15 bible study.
If you don’t read the bible daily, try starting in Psalms. David, is the author and a poet (but not the cheesy kind, and seldom does it rhyme). Found in the middle of the Bible, in this book are details of his everyday emotion ridden walk with God - good, bad and in between. Stories of belief, doubt, failure, success, fear, courage, anger, love, rebellion, obedience, heart ache, joy and wisdom.
* Be The Gift, Ann Voskamp. Ann beautifully crafts her words to be honest, uplifting and challenging simultaneously. Her book helped to get me out of my own way. It reminded me our pain is not wasted, and that we can be a gift to others because of it.
* Brave Girl Eating, Harriet Brown. I didn’t make it through this book because when I started reading I was too close to the crisis she details. Author Brown details an honest look at the emotional, physical and familial cost when battling an eating disorder.
* Your Teenager is Not Crazy, Dr. Jeramy Clark & Jerusha Clark. This book details the chemical and neurological changes that happen from child to teen. I am still reading it / re-reading it. This quote from their book prompted me to reach out for help despite my fears. “If you suspect negative body image is beginning to control your sons’s or daughter’s life, don’t wait. Seek help immediately…” (pg. 259)
^^^^This is the best advice I can give you, before you order a book, read another blog post or online forum, make the call you've been dreading. Do not let fear keep you from fighting back against that which is threatening to steal away the mind and body of the one you love.
* Help Your Teenager Beat An Eating Disorder, James Lock, MD, PhD & Daniel Le Grange, PhD. Filled with detailed case studies, information about eating disorders and practical ways to take a stand for your teens recovery, this book, written from the medical perspective, empowered me with knowledge and understanding. I walked away from this book with a healthy fear of anorexia but also the will to beat it.
This website is full of free resources for EVERYONE that an eating disorder touches. This is the place to gain practical every day advice an wisdom about how to make a plate "magic," craft 600 calorie mashed potatoes, but also reminders and truths about eating disorders. This is the place for you, but also the place to send grandparents, teachers, friends, and all the support staff that want to understand and help you on the journey.
BONUS I highly recommend getting yourself a core group of trusted family members and friends who will join you in the battle. We had a core group of 20-30 people to whom I sent email updates. These wonderful people committed to pray for us and gave selflessly of their time, money and energy to be our strength and energy when we had none.
Ask me a question....jamie.g4@gmail.com
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