The world says we are the roles we play

An athlete

Type A or type B

A husband

A wife

A musician

A dancer

A mom

A dad

A job title

Busy

And so this role we choose to play, the world tells us, is our identity.  

But what happens to the injured athlete unable to perform

The type A who can't sustain order or the type B who needs to have it all together

The marriage that falls apart

The musician who goes unrecognized

The dancer who doesn't get the part

The mom or dad who looses a child

The faithful employee who looses her job

The busy bee who is overwhelmed

So, the world tells us, we are the sum of what we lack. 

And, we get a new identity, failure, disappointment, and not good enough

Our culture says 

We are what we look like, dress like, and who we hang out with 

So we compare ourselves to others and become wholly discontent

Culture says we're the names people call us, 

So we let those words infiltrate our being and choose to stay in the box that others created for us

The world says you are how you feel

You feel sad, find a way to release it, you don’t want to live anymore then don’t

Your gender is relative, You feel like a boy, be one, You feel like a girl, okay - good for you

You feel angry, confused, insecure, hopeless, unloved - Act out and on your feelings

The world says your feelings are truth

THE WORLD IS FULL OF LIES

And, when we choose to let the world determine our identity

We become enslaved to a set of expectations God never intended for us

And we are hostages to the lies

Identity is defined as who someone is; the qualities, beliefs, etc. that make a person different from others.

It's our creator who makes us different

You are His unique creation,

He calls you a masterpiece, beautiful, worthy

You are His son, His daughter

He calls you His own, His heir, His warrior, His child, His love

His truth never changes?

Because He never changes

And so 

We are not the roles we play

We are not the sum of our insufficiencies

We are not our clothes, our friends or the names people call us

Our identity is not our gender, relationship status or how we feel

Our identity is found in the ONE who called us out of the mess, out of the lies, and to Himself

John 15:19 “you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of it.”

Do you know who you are because of who He is?

Because God is forgiving - I am forgiven

Because God is loving - I am loved

Because God is always present - I am never alone

Because God is all powerful - I have power

Because God is creator - I am created, beautiful, on purpose, the only me  

Because God is Father - I belong, I have a family

Because God is all knowing - I am known

Because God is king - I am a warrior

Because God is purposeful - I have purpose

Because God is available - I am heard

Because God is merciful - I have hope

Because God is unchanging- I am content

It's not always easy to be myself.  

Living as your created self on purpose takes courage

But we don't have to do it alone

HE is the chain breaker.  

He is the savior the redeemer.  

He is the hope maker and the freedom giver.

So we can be different.  

Just as HE created us.  

And yet, ALL can find their true identity in HIM.

Perfection Stinks

News Flash - I'm not perfect
But, it's wound up tightly inside, hidden deep within -  masked by clean houses, status updates, homeschool planners and messy laundry cabinets kept closed off to the world.
Perfection.
Maybe it's buried inside as a result of the garden failure?
A fall driven by the desire to be like God, to know as He know so we don't have to trust as much?
Trust.
Trust that He knows us better than we know ourselves, knows our hearts our talents our good and our not good enough.  Trust that He has a plan and a purpose.  Even when our imperfection is on display and perfectly obvious to the world.
God.
He is perfect.  He is the sustainer, all-powerful creator, planner, giver, lover, Father, grace-filled merciful forgiver. But, do I strive so hard to be like Him that I forget I'm not Him?
Wear myself out striving, planning surviving?  Tidying hallways, posting only the shiny happy positives, closing doors, and putting on the face I keep in a jar by the door.
Trust.
Trust is easier than striving.
And grace.
Grace is infinitely better than failed attempts at perfection.
So I realize, I can't have both grace and striving.
When the Law says LACKING - Grace say LOVED
I need saving
Not striving
His grace is alive, working in me, accomplishing in spite of me
And that is all the perfect I need.

I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of  Holley Gerth's - You're Loved No Matter What :Freeing Your Heart From The Need To Be Perfect.  Can't wait to dig into the truths and encouragement she has to offer through her beautifully woven words.

Linking Up today with

Holley Gert - having coffee for your heart

and Meredith Bernard #woman2woman
And Three Word Wednesday 

Dear Daughter - Don't Date Him

If a piece feels like it's missing

It's not him 

I promise

If you're feeling lonely or lacking

Don't date him

When you're unsure and figuring out what being you looks like

Don't date him

If you think you need him

You don't

Cross my heart

If you think you're the only one without

Don't date him

When you just want to fit but you're not sure if you're round or square

Don't date him

If your heart is longing

His love won't satisfy 

Trust me

If you think you can save him

Don't date him

When you're the one he's going to change for, come to church for, be better for

Don't date him

If your feeling insecure

He won't give you confidence

I know

But

When you look into the mirror and it's you looking back

When you're fearlessly convinced that you are a uniquely beautiful creation

When you know Who made you and why

When your longing is filled by the true love of a loving Savior

When you is enough, even if you are the only one (you know you're not)

When you're satisfied and confident just as you are

When he doesn't need saving or changing and he's different from all the rest in all the right ways

Then daughter 

Date him

I'm not okay - and you don't have to be either...

I'm not a perfect wife - I speak when I should just listen, I try to plan and control when I need to just let go
I'm not the Mom they always need me to be - I miss moments when I should cherish them, I get to busy with the everyday and forget their time with me is short, someday I'll want him to talk to me about anything even if that thing is cars or Lego's and I'll want her incessant make-believe ramblings to fill the void of silence, I'm short-tempered and tired
I'm not the best friend - I should write more cards, and remember dates more accurately, I'm good at making coffee but do I listen well and am I what they need?
I'm in love with a God that poured out all so I could know Him, but I'm an imperfect lover - I'm selfish and often stressing and striving when I should be asking and trusting

This place where we rub shoulders and incompletely love each other
It's a mess
There is no perfect marriage, family, friend, mother, daughter or church

But what if we're created for a world that's different?
One stripped of uncertainty, hurt and stress
A place where your Daddy loves you unquestionably and your Mom doesn't fade in death?
A world filled with contentment, joy and fulfillment
A city where friends are real and the incurable is rendered cured
Where trials cease, and brokenness is pieced to perfection

And what if in the mean time - living in this one - we don't have to pretend to be anything we're not?
You don't have to be okay, or fine unless you really are
I can need and you can want
We can be hurting, questioning, and inadequate
We can be a broken vessels, leaking life while trying to live

Because this world is a mess
We are married to imperfect people, friends with the flawed, employees under the incomplete, daughters of deficient parents, and part of churches full of broken people
But, this temporary world, with it's lacking and wearing on your soul
It doesn't have to strip you of life
In the middle of chaos and clutter there is hope
In the middle of dying there is life to be lived, and leaky vessels can be made new

That world, where you belong - it exists
And there is a way
But you don't get there by being better or scraping away the flaws
We start by believing
Acknowledging that we're needy, imperfect, hurting and desperate for hope and re-made relationship
Then we let Him love us
And with all our imperfections we love Him back
With the kind of love that does
While mercy covers all the mistakes and grace makes you new.  Not patched or better, but whole and wholly new

So in the middle of not being okay, because there will still be days when you're not okay
While missing moments, and trying to control and being a lover who is lacking
There's hope and forgiveness and freedom

So let's unite in our lacking, 
Let's make this world a little less okay and a lot more hopeful
Let's be friends who dream together, Mother's who ask for forgiveness, Daughter's and Son's who talk, Wives who listen, Husbands who care, Fathers who protect, God lovers who pour out their all
Let's make church a place where people are free to be broken, needy, hurting, who they are and loved 
Let's love with action
And trust that God is working in our mess
Because we will never be good enough
But HE is and the place we belong is waiting

Where You are Like Me

Why are we divided?  Why do we say "them" and "us" with exclusion?
Why do we see difference and let it divide?
Why do we draw lines between race, age, gender, socio-economics and cultures?

He played banged on the air drums while she rocked the air guitar sang back-up and I took lead vocals (at their request of course)
And these words blasted from our speakers
Oh, we all want the same thing.
Oh, we all run for something.
Run for God, for fate,
For love, for hate,
For gold, for rust,
For diamonds, for dust
 - One Republic, Love Runs Out

In the middle of air band, with my two rocking kids in our Subaru wagon
From a band that describes it's music style as "a sum of a bunch of parts"
It clicked for me
We see in color
Hear in harmony
And we're different
But
Different is not good nor is different bad
It's not meant to be criticized, categorized or compared
It just is
And in the middle of our difference is the truth that you are just like me
We all hurt, dream, love, and hope
We're all searching, trying, running, living, breathing
And as our lives are tested
Laid bare, broken and bleeding
We all bleed the same color

All of us
Red - Yellow - Black - White
Wealthy - Middle Class - Poor
Female - Male
Old - Young
You are like Me
Not only in our hurts, our dreams our running our breathing
But in the way we are made

Made in the image of God
Designed to be like Him
And He is too complex, too beautiful, too full and too great to be understood in one race, once age, one gender, one socio-economic status
We see in color
Hear in harmony
Dream - Pray - Run - Hurt - Seek - Breath - Bleed
Because there is a God who is our color, speaks in harmony, knows our hearts, feels our pain, heals our brokenness, fulfills our need, shows us love, and gives us breath

When we get stuck in comparison we miss the beauty
When we draw lines and use our diversity as a means of division
We tear down the value of a soul
We discount the greatness and diversity of a God who is beyond our full comprehension
And we break the world into pieces

I know a God who is creative and diverse
I know a God who came to earth
I know a God who wants His people to live as one
I know a God who bled
And when we bleed...
We all bleed the same color

I may be a small-town white girl, but in my design I'm just like you
And in your design you are just like me
Because we all reflect the image of God

I wonder what the world would look like we we started to see the way were all the same instead of the way we're different?

Happily linking up with

Meredith Bernard #woman2woman

And Holley Gerth @Coffee for your Heart