Tuesday I had a hair appointment.  I was channeling Hedi Klum.  I didn't pull up a picture but I was pretty sure I gave a good description.  Not really much of a change from what I currently had, but a little.

I must have not given as clear of description as I had thought.  Unfortunately, for me,  I ended up with something that looks more like the   "Rachel" from the 90's.  I already tried this cut my Jr. year of HS and it didn't take too well.  Upside: Since the 90's someone invented the straightening iron for use outside the salon inside the home - and I own one.  

For the love of change, ponytails, more ponytails and vitamins to speed hair growth.

Me

Yesterday

• I lost my voice
• It's hard to communicate to your 3 and 5 year old in a whisper
• I asked Ethan is he was hungry and he replied "wait....what do we agree on?" (go ahead, whisper are you hungry and see what it sounds like!)
• I started a daily devo- blog (because I need more consistency)
• I woke up to encouraging notes and scripture taped all over our house
• I stepped in dog poop on our family walk 
• It felt like fall
• We cleared off some DVR space with TV catch up night
• I got to rest
• Was a great day, no voice and all

Joshua

Your cookies already gone
But your voicemail holds a silly Happy-Birthday song
How I miss my friend, who tells me how it is
Even if I'm not ready to hear it
Who listens, amidst the chaos of kids
Who gave me an amazing sister and best friend
Who crawls on the floor and chases all the kids, a real kid at heart
Who's an incredible dad and loving husband
It's your birthday today
And I'm remembering the days of Burgers and Chiefs games

I love you Joshua!
Happy 27th birthday

Whole hearted, but halfway

My whole heart is for God
My whole heart is for my husband and kids
My whole heart is for my family
My whole heart is for my friends
My whole heart is for the girls and staff at House of Hope
My whole heart is for our service at church
My whole heart is for giving great care to the patients at work
And I wholeheartedly want to have a house that's clean and welcoming
But, sometimes my efforts are so divided my whole heart and effort feels like halfway
Just barely keeping up

Lesson learned
1. Saying No is okay - especially when the yes feels like "one more thing"
2. Baking cookies and playing front-yard whiffle ball is something to say YES to
3. Working more + sleeping less = An increased effort of self-control to keep it together and get things done
4. I love my family
5. I need to make more room for God every day, consistently

Nine

Just nine-
Nine weeks.
That's what the expectant mom said
And my nightmare of nine seeped from my memory
So, I distracted myself with grumbling about sand
As I watched Charlie's toes disappear into the giant litter box
The picture of her tiny body, still and frozen at nine weeks, clouded my mind
A gulp of water helped to dam up the tears
But the emotion of it all slowly faded into the background
As I watched Ethan run and Charlie tip toe
As I listened to the anticipation of new life and growing families
As I felt the warm sun caress my face and the gentle breeze tease my hair
I made peace, again, with loosing her
And I'm ok
I'm better than ok
I'm thankful
I'm content
I'm happy
And so is she

Ways I'm like Paula Dean

BUTTER
I use only sweet-cream (typically store-brand) butter when baking
That's it.
So I guess a more appropriate blog title would be:
Butter - the one way I'm like Paula Dean
And in the spirit of TV cooking personalities,
If you need an easy dessert try this
1 can cherry pie filling
1 can crushed pineapple (drained)
1 box yellow cake mix
1 stick butter (melted)

In an 8x8 greased baking dish mix cherry filling and pineapple
Stir cake mix into melted butter
Top filling with the cake-butter mixture
Bake at 350 for 30 min or until the top is lightly brown and the filling bubbly

Cheers!

Just another manic

Tuesday?
No, That's not how it goes.
I need a creative day
I'd like to put my playlist on shuffle, pick out photos to edit-print-and fill up the frames cluttering my bedroom floor, I'd like to write an amazing blog about Sunday's sermon and how I balled to Toby Mac's "Loose your way" while car dancing,fist pumping, and singing at the top of my lungs with Ethan and Charlie
Instead I made microwave cinnamon-sugar oatmeal and toast
Cleaned the kitchen,
Ran the dishwasher and
Put dishes away from the clean side of the sink
I polished off yesterday's pot of coffee with extra hazelnut creamer (because the coffee was a tad strong - it was from yesterday)
I swept and swiffered the upstairs floors
I'm in the process of making rye bread (a first)
And I have a date to make peanut butter cookies with my favorite sous-chefs after Max and Ruby
I need to work on the October budget, but I'll probably hang out with a friend and her kids instead (and I'm not even a little bit sad about that trade of events!)
The photos can wait - and I'm sure my sous-chefs would love a little baking music

For the love of toast, little helpers, daily tasks and a life simply lived
Me

Love letters

College ruled, creased and crisp
Passed under desks or in the hall
I remember the excited feeling, a fluttering in the pit of your stomach
I really am the luckiest -
I found a guy who still likes to write me love letters (sometimes even poetry)
He still writes to me on college ruled notebook paper
It's not always crisp, often wadded and wrinkled, and sometimes it's a recycled masterpiece
Strategically placed atop my pillow, was a note
My hands held the paper and my stomach fluttered in anticipation
Love letters, much like love, get better with age
And as I drifted off to sleep his words saturated my mind
The best lullaby I can imagine

Impossible

It's impossible to defrost meat in the microwave (my microwave) while cooking pancakes on the griddle with the light on over the stove while running the dishwasher and keeping the fridge cool.
Trust me, I tried (3-times).  That's 2 more breaker-box trips than necessary to really know it's not possible.
Oh well!

So it begins (or continues)

NO-Eat-Out-October is upon us
You are probably thinking, really?
I didn't know that was a thing?
It's not, it's just something we're trying.
And 5-days in we've been very successful
I love that it's soup weather, and that I have some of mom's left-over vegetable beef soup in the fridge
I've been rummaging through recipes
And trying to keep it healthy
Traveling was easy with a  little planning and some help from igloo
My coffee pot has been getting a work-out
But, I need a travel cup to lessen the Starbucks temptation
I'm sure around day 15 I'll be missing Chick-fil-A with this weather change
But for now the challenge of planning, self-control, delayed-gratification and saving money is exciting and motivating.
Time to continue the motivation into marinating chicken
Because if you don't plan dinner at 10am while cleaning up the breakfast dishes, the 6pm dinner rush attacks and you'll find yourself with frozen chicken, idea-less, resorting to eating out.
Happy No-Eat-Out-October friends.

Say It

Say the hard thing
Be yourself, with as little drama as possible
Sometimes it's not possible
Cry
Hug
Work at relationships, because they take work
Lots of it
Forgive
And know you're better for it all