Santa came, he wears a brown suit and drives a UPS truck

Sounds of popping bubble wrap is the percussion to our daily song

And our room looks like Amazon vomited smiles all over it

It's Christmas time and I love everything about it

I love that it pairs well with baking, and cinnamon everything

I love the smells, the lights, the music

I love how people seem like they care a little bit more about people 

And I love the excuse to get caught up in the little things, like cutting snow flakes, and sticky fingers and sipping hot chocolate 

Making time to remember and to make memories

Today we cut down our tree

But the memory of how I felt on the inside looks something like this...

Aren't we pretty?

Oh don't worry there were about 17 other photos of us trying not to look irritated as well as a 24 second slow-motion video of us smiling - taken by our exceptionally sour (except for when he was trying to be funny) nine year old.

He didn't like the tree

EVERY tree he liked was still in the growing stage not marked for sale, or it was 18 ft tall 

Everything was taking to long, and yet he complained there wasn't enough time

He thought today was going to be "different" 

Well, SO DID I

And I just kept thinking how he was missing it

And ruining it for me...

Because I LOVE this stuff

And you only get Christmas once a year

So we took our compromise tree home 

And settled on this...

"Buddy, we're disappointed that you chose to see what was lacking instead of what we got to share.  We wish you would tell us what's going on inside of your brain.  We love that we had today and no matter how today went, we love you.  We love you because you're ours.  And there's no good you can do to make us love you more, nor could any bad attitude, rebellion, or failure ever make us love you less." 

And as we read our Advent verse that told us of the coming of Christ it sank in deep

He loves me

Patient, Powerful Creator, God loves me

Not because I'm kind, or good, or worth it

And in spite of me being short tempered, selfish, stubborn and broken

He loves me because I'm His

And He came because I needed Him

No good I can do to make Him love me more

No bad attitude or rebellion or failure could ever make Him love me less

Because I am Him - He loves me

And He loves you too

6 Questions to Ask about Smart Phones

It's at our fingertips
Whistling, Beeping, Notifying, Ringing
Seldom ringing, but constantly beckoning
Information, Connection, Entertainment and Distraction
Packaged neatly as normal and necessary

Accessible information is trusted, not discerned
I am entertained but being a consumer is consuming
When we're together it takes us away
And distraction siphons purpose

I see it in me and I see it in them
Anticipation, Preoccupation, Attachment, Dependency
On this thing, this noisy object that beeps and pulls and distracts and fits in my pocket
Normal?  Yes
But necessary?

I remember life without it
All rings sounded the same and they weren't screened, just answered
I didn't stare at it, or sit by it and it couldn't fit in my pocket
That was then
So what of the now
Because I'm not going backward, and it's not going to stop beckoning or being available

I've got to find the different within this new normal
And I've got to show them how to navigate this world of disconnected connection

Because
We have the internet in the palm of our hands
And typing words seems more convenient than speaking them
Via #selfie, pin, status update, snap or tweet
Social Media will continue to give us a glimpse into the days one second of perfection, or the occasional post of authenticity
We are going to have information about people without real relationship
And apps will continue to challenge us; to cut the rope, be a ninja of fruit, crush the candy, run through the temple, flap the bird, connect the dots, clash the clan or craft the mine

But I find myself in the middle of a battle with what's normal and feeling overly distracted, attached and dependent
I don't have the answers...But I have some questions

   1. Am I more engaged with a device than the life that's happening around me?
   2. Can I see snap shots of others perfect second without comparing, complaining or judging?
   3. Am I the same person in real life as in text, tweet, status, and selfie?
   4. Do they see my eyes on them more than on a screen?
   5. What are my habits formed around?
   6. When I look back in fifty years what am I going to remember about right now?

I want to remember, with printed pictures, penned notes, memories made -me and him and them, candidly - Sad, happy, loss, joy, failure, trying, living, giving - and most of all God's faithfulness
I want to form habits that are healthy, and life giving, encouraging and beneficial
I want them to see the flecks of gold in my eyes looking intently back into theirs, engaged in their make-believe and interested in what excites them, because they're not going to care what I think for much longer
I want to live with integrity - if I wouldn't say it to your face I'm not going to type it, I'll be honest in my posts or not post at all
If we haven't spoken in six months maybe I don't need to know about your perfect second?
I'm not going to waste time comparing, and if I don't then I won't have anything to complain about
As for silently judgment - forgive me - I'm learning that mercy triumphs
I don't want to wake up to a  screen, but to the sun
I want to kiss him, drink coffee, pray, love and live a life that's bigger than likes, re-tweets, favorites, likes, "friends", "followers", re-pins, top-scores and screens

Unsolicited information: Diet saga

In which I complain that it's almost time to dawn a swimsuit
My body's not ready for spandex
And share the greatest, not just latest life-style health plan I'm on

Since the birth of Charlie, (bet you're glad I didn't say time, huh!)
The scales read much like a yo-yo plays
Up and Down, when what I really want to do is have my yo-yo down and walk the dog then let all the string run out and maintain at floor level.
Dont' get me wrong;
I'm okay with my post-baby body,
My lack of abs, and stretch marks don't bother me
I'm not insecure,
Just attune to the additional un-baby related pounds that have snuck up on me
SO
I'm embarking on the Isagenix journey to good health
Whole body health, not just dieting - which includes taking vitamins and increasing my exercise routine
I've successfully cut sugar out of my diet for 9 days
The past 9 days I've tried to cut non-God made sugar from my diet,
BUT
Monday I had a smore with the kids
Wednesday I had a brownie in the name of fellowship
And Friday I had a chocolate bar to benefit March of Dimes...I mean, I couldn't just donate a dollar and not take the dark chocolate almond bar, could I?
Well, 6 out of 9 isn't so bad
Chocolate weakness aside, I'm feeling better and loosing weight
I have more energy, and overall just feel better

For the love of running (16mi this week), kickboxing, health and looking good in spandex,
Me

Shouting

There's a new trend developing at the G house
It's not one I'm fond of in the least
It's the tune-mom-out trend
It goes something like this...
Please go put on socks and shoes
Socks and shoes please
Put down the toy and put on your socks and shoes
Do you have your socks and shoes on?
No?
What did mommy ask you to do 3-times already
Put on your socks and shoes
Gradually with each request my tone is
Less patient
More irritated
Increasing in volume

Shouting doesn't work
Regrettably, I know - because I've tried.

I've found getting the kids undivided attention requires me giving them mine.
I can not ask, while rushing around completing my own task, or shout commands from downstairs to up
A request is best delivered on their level, while still, in a controlled tone

It's not a perfect world
I'm not perfect
And so sometimes
I shout
At least I already know the solution

For the love of self-control, heightened listening skills and short-lived trends,
Me

PS: I started a new diet, hoping it's going to be a lifestyle change not a diet.
PPS: I am hungry.

Dear Body

It's been 28 years, and we've been through a lot:

I have under-fed and over-exercised you
irrational teen-reflection is my plea
I have over-fed you and while we love dessert - it dosen't love us back
hanging my head in shame
I've skipped out on giving you the exercise you need
lazy
I frequently deprive you of sleep
sorry
You've stretched to nourish and craddle a growing baby
times 2
I'm working on finding balance for us
You're starting to look healthy again
you're welcome
Today you were "noticed" during our jog, while pushing the double stroller filled with 90 pounds of children -ages 4 and 3
And by "noticed" I mean thumbs up x3, goofy grins and cat-calls from convertible-driving-joy-riding teen boys
i laughed out loud
I'm blessed with a husband who loves you and tells me I'm beautiful no matter what shape you're in
he's the best
It's swimsuit season
so here's to salad, protein, low carbs, looking great (again), getting healthy and another 28 years plus
Love
me

Running...

It begins with aspiration, and is driven by the notion that this body can be transformed.
My feet pound the concrete, and my legs turn.
My breath labors and quickens.
The boquet of spring is inhaled with every breath, and my breathing slows to enjoy each unique fragrance - Sweet lilac, fresh cut grass, the scent of an elderly gentleman enjoying a pipe on his porch (the kind that reminds me of Uncle Tom).
My shadow vanishes and unites with the darkness.
And distraction, in the form of my "motivational mix", aides my pace.
Rhythm finds each step and suddenly it's almost effortless.
Now I can push - demanding my body to go faster, and farther I press on.
I gain self-control as my mind disciplines my body to act beyond it's presumed "limits".
So, while working on the outside of me the inside is made more beautiful too. I see the ability lying in wait within me to press-on, to discipline myself, and to move outside of my own comfort.
I am both challenged and fortified.

Philippians 3:14 : I press on toward the goal for the prize to which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
1 Corinthians 9:24b-26 : Run in such a way that you may win. Everyone who competes in the games excerises self-control in all things. They do it to recieve a preishalbe crown, but we do it to gan a crown that lasts forever. Therefore I run in sich a way, as not without aim...I buffet my body and make it my slave.
Philippians 3:12b : I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.