In which I complain that it's almost time to dawn a swimsuit
My body's not ready for spandex
And share the greatest, not just latest life-style health plan I'm on

Since the birth of Charlie, (bet you're glad I didn't say time, huh!)
The scales read much like a yo-yo plays
Up and Down, when what I really want to do is have my yo-yo down and walk the dog then let all the string run out and maintain at floor level.
Dont' get me wrong;
I'm okay with my post-baby body,
My lack of abs, and stretch marks don't bother me
I'm not insecure,
Just attune to the additional un-baby related pounds that have snuck up on me
SO
I'm embarking on the Isagenix journey to good health
Whole body health, not just dieting - which includes taking vitamins and increasing my exercise routine
I've successfully cut sugar out of my diet for 9 days
The past 9 days I've tried to cut non-God made sugar from my diet,
BUT
Monday I had a smore with the kids
Wednesday I had a brownie in the name of fellowship
And Friday I had a chocolate bar to benefit March of Dimes...I mean, I couldn't just donate a dollar and not take the dark chocolate almond bar, could I?
Well, 6 out of 9 isn't so bad
Chocolate weakness aside, I'm feeling better and loosing weight
I have more energy, and overall just feel better

For the love of running (16mi this week), kickboxing, health and looking good in spandex,
Me

Shouting

There's a new trend developing at the G house
It's not one I'm fond of in the least
It's the tune-mom-out trend
It goes something like this...
Please go put on socks and shoes
Socks and shoes please
Put down the toy and put on your socks and shoes
Do you have your socks and shoes on?
No?
What did mommy ask you to do 3-times already
Put on your socks and shoes
Gradually with each request my tone is
Less patient
More irritated
Increasing in volume

Shouting doesn't work
Regrettably, I know - because I've tried.

I've found getting the kids undivided attention requires me giving them mine.
I can not ask, while rushing around completing my own task, or shout commands from downstairs to up
A request is best delivered on their level, while still, in a controlled tone

It's not a perfect world
I'm not perfect
And so sometimes
I shout
At least I already know the solution

For the love of self-control, heightened listening skills and short-lived trends,
Me

PS: I started a new diet, hoping it's going to be a lifestyle change not a diet.
PPS: I am hungry.

Break the fast

Battle of the Breakfast Choice                     


340 calories VS. 280



Guess which one I choose!  The Colby-cheese egg whites on whole wheat 45 cal per slice toast with strawberries....eating right just gets easier and easier one choice at a time  :)

 For the love of egg whites - Happy Choosing

Dear Body

It's been 28 years, and we've been through a lot:

I have under-fed and over-exercised you
irrational teen-reflection is my plea
I have over-fed you and while we love dessert - it dosen't love us back
hanging my head in shame
I've skipped out on giving you the exercise you need
lazy
I frequently deprive you of sleep
sorry
You've stretched to nourish and craddle a growing baby
times 2
I'm working on finding balance for us
You're starting to look healthy again
you're welcome
Today you were "noticed" during our jog, while pushing the double stroller filled with 90 pounds of children -ages 4 and 3
And by "noticed" I mean thumbs up x3, goofy grins and cat-calls from convertible-driving-joy-riding teen boys
i laughed out loud
I'm blessed with a husband who loves you and tells me I'm beautiful no matter what shape you're in
he's the best
It's swimsuit season
so here's to salad, protein, low carbs, looking great (again), getting healthy and another 28 years plus
Love
me

Sabotage

I want to love salads, I really do
I want to be healthy
I don't want to crave sweets
ALAS...
The trouble all started Wednesday
Cinco de Mayo.
Fiesta planned, and birthday's to celebrate
Of course, no meal and birthday celebration with friends is complete without dessert...and I volunteered
I LOVE to bake
Peach pie (for one friend):
Homemade crust (with real butter, you can make it with lard too, but please do not make pie-crust from something that comes out of a tub or canister)
Fresh peaches, painstakingly peeled and hand sliced, but so worth it
Fresh grated cinnamon, a mixture of dark brown and regular sugar and a touch of flour to help the mixture gel
Funfetti cake, light on the strawberry icing (for the other friend):
I like cake out of a box, it's easy and familiar, just like mom used to make :)
I'm a fan of both Duncan Heinz and Pillsbury, Pillsbury happened to be on sale so we had Pillsbury.

I had eaten frugally all day, my fiesta meal was lettuce, with sirloin and fajita style peppers and onions (no cheese and no sour-cream).
The trade off was getting to eat the peach pie ala mode of course
But then there was left over cake and I had two-pieces of that (small pieces)
And then I had to work all night Thursday and ate a slice of chocolate chip cookie for happy nurses week (because I'm a nurse and I am happy).
On arrival home Friday morning, I had two-slices of cinnamon-sugar toast and washed it down with cinnamon toast crunch.
Then indulged in a burger from BRGR, onion straws and sweet potato fries (two-big thumbs up, 5 stars, whatever restaurants get...I loved this place - Visit it)

And so my Monday through Wednesday afternoon efforts have been sabotaged, by myself. My lack of self-restraint, my rationalization, and my love for food.

It's so hard to love a salad
But I'm trying

Confession

I ate 10 mini-snickers this morning (which I'm pretty sure is equal to at least one regular-sized candy bar).
I washed down the mini-snickers with a hand full of red skittles.
I am on a diet.
I'm also "on" something else (TMI? -sorry).
I'd like to blame the poor control and large sugar intake on the above statement.
I need to be working on work, but
I've been not working for the last 1.3 hrs.
I will be going running later,
How long do you think I need to run to burn off all the candy calories?
Sigh...shake my head, and smile.

So it begins...

Me vs. Me
A battle of self-control and reconditioning

I started Weight-Watchers, again
This starts week 4
2 years ago, to the day -
I became a lifetime member for meeting and maintaining my goal weight.
I was the mother of a 8month old and 2year old.
I was exercising 3 times a week regularly one to two hours at a time
I was working 4-times a month, auditing
I was betrayed, hurt by the one who is supposed to love me the most
Outwardly beautiful, toned and thin - I questioned why and I gave up
Inside self-esteem bruised and broken

Forgiveness
Healing
Time
Pregnancy
Miscarriage
Time
Healing

Today the mother of a 2 1/2 year old and a 4 year old
Exercising sporadically at best
Working 2-nights a week at the hospital, auditing 2 times a month
Supported and in love with the one who loves me the most on this earth
Trusting in the ONE who truly loves me the most
Outwardly striving to be healthy, and an example for my kids
Inside realizing self-esteem is much more than how I look

TRUTH - Food is for my survival and nutrition, nothing more
I have lost 6.7 pounds