God
I've believed in Him
Loved Him
Served Him
Misunderstood Him
Ignored Him
Ran from Him
Hid from Him
And found that through it all
He is a different God
I tried life without Him
Living by my own heart
Fitting in with the world (or desperately trying)
Trying on shades of life like a new hair color (and I colored my hair A LOT)
Filling my head with stories of stars - neglecting the Word and the One who breathed us into existence
My heart was not a good god
It changes and lies and hurts and bleeds
It wearies
My heart is fickle
But God
He is not like my heart
Or the world
He doesn't change
How boring to always be the same
Predictable
Just
Fair
Right
Or How unlike everything else?
And how deserving
Deserving of respect and honor and Lordship
God
I've called Him many names
Good, Father, Awesome, Healer, Holy, Creator, Jesus, Redeemer, Truth, Life, Fair, Loving
And I believe them all
But calling Him Lord was, and is too often, lip service
Because, though I am made like Him
I am NOT Him
And He is unlike me in His abiding static
Yet He moves
He moved into the world
Through the guidance and deliverance of an imperfect but faithful people
He moved through judges who lead His people and prophets who spoke His truth
And then He moved in a way no other god has or can
He moved through Jesus
Jesus
God's Son, wrapped in human skin
Jesus who felt, and lived and yearned and ached and cried and bled
Jesus who moved with God
And completed the plan to heal and forgive
Jesus, who took my consequence and shattered the fear of death
Breaking the grip of death's hold on the eternal soul
Freeing all who believe, all who call, all who trust, all who love, all who allow themselves to be moved
Moved closer to a God that desires even though He doesn't need
God
Who cared that my sin drove me away from Him
God
Who doesn't hate, except for His hatred of sin, the one thing that separates me from from Him
God
Who loved me enough to remedy my separation
God
Who doesn't command and control
But instead loves and patiently waits for me to love Him too
He moved
But He's not done moving
He moves now
In us and through us
When we give Him the throne of our hearts
He gives us His Spirit
His power, His guidance, His grace, His static
Reigning, amidst my volatility
And so I call Him Lord
And mean it
Understanding who He is and what I'm not
That He is greater
And different
And there's a peace in the awareness that I won't ever quite "get" Him
And a passion that ignites trusting His different is what I need
God
In my running He pursued me
In my misunderstanding He waited and whispered His truth
In my ignorance He gave me grace and guidance
In my hiding He stood constant
So, everyday I believe
I imperfectly love
And I serve Him, inadequately, but with all of me that I can give
Who cared that my sin drove me away from Him
God
Who doesn't hate, except for His hatred of sin, the one thing that separates me from from Him
God
Who loved me enough to remedy my separation
God
Who doesn't command and control
But instead loves and patiently waits for me to love Him too
He moved
But He's not done moving
He moves now
In us and through us
When we give Him the throne of our hearts
He gives us His Spirit
His power, His guidance, His grace, His static
Reigning, amidst my volatility
And so I call Him Lord
And mean it
Understanding who He is and what I'm not
That He is greater
And different
And there's a peace in the awareness that I won't ever quite "get" Him
And a passion that ignites trusting His different is what I need
God
In my running He pursued me
In my misunderstanding He waited and whispered His truth
In my ignorance He gave me grace and guidance
In my hiding He stood constant
So, everyday I believe
I imperfectly love
And I serve Him, inadequately, but with all of me that I can give
Because He is a Different God
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