Here are somethings I know and a few I don't...

I know what a sweet heart you have
I know how hard you work and what you family means to you
I know we will always make time to be together
I know you love GOD
I know you are a great uncle to my children
I don't know what shoes Ethan will get for his birthday, but I know they'll come from you
I know it's hard to talk about our failures
I know you've witnessed some of mine
I know we're forgiven
I know it's hard to live in this world and not be of it
I know you CAN
I know you thought you had it all planned out,
I know how it feels for it all to fall apart
I don't know what is next for you
I know how happy you sounded the last time we talked
I know God has the BEST plan laid out and still to come for you
I don't know what it is
I know I am praying for you

Happy 22nd birthday Jonas - I love you

Today

I read a friends post
I cried, and I remembered you, my unborn baby girl
The house is still and the hum of the computer the only noise

Baby girl - you would be two-weeks old today
You should be cradled in my arms
Instead you rest in God arms
I rest in knowing you are safe and loved and I will hold you someday

I cried some-more

Chance and Contentment

Like a picture from a comic strip - the light bulb moment :

Contentment can not be found in things, but from within
People will disappoint, things will decay
Life takes work, a disciplined effort and focus
It doesn't always feel good, but it makes us grow, makes us better
And it makes us
It is within me to choose this life,
The life I have right now and cherish it
My tired and overwhelming life, full of chances
The chance to feel like a human jungle gym all day
The chance to share in the joy of the creation of my children
The chance to welcome home the same wonderful man every night
The chance to be loved and held by my adoring husband
The chance to bless the sick and needy
The chance to cherish my family and my friends
The chance to glorify God

It doesn't always feel good, but I choose this life
I choose the chances of everyday, and I am so blessed
Content - from the inside out

He called it a...

"Pop Box" - Ethan's current name for a vending machine

Light...

A familiar pew
Lime carpet, stained and ragged
Wilting wallpaper and wood-paneling

A legacy of faith surrounds me
Jacob gently grasp my hand
Our children recline quietly between us

Salty tears stain my cheeks
Truth resounds in my ears
The image replays in my mind

The absence of light
Darkness
The light of the world
Jesus

They tried to beat the light out of Him
In Crucifixion, they tried to extinguish the light
But it was not theirs to squelch

The light of the world shines
As He did in the beginning, as He always will

Lost in the dark?
Look around
Can you see it?
He shines for you
Will you open your eyes?

I believe

The last rays of sunlight glisten through the trees
Shades of red and orange color the sky
The sun retires
The house is quiet, and I read :

"I am He, I am He who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you.
To whom will you compare me or count me equal?
To who will you liken me that we may be compared?
Remember the former things, those of long ago; I am God, and there is no other;
I am God, and there is none like me.
I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come...
What I have said, that will I bring about; what I have planned, that will I do."
-ISAIAH 46-

And I believe.
My heart is quiet, like my house.
I listen to the words of God and I wonder at His power, His creation, His will.
I do not understand His love for me...but I know I have been rescued, and forgiven.
His words are for me, and I claim His promises.

Chicken or the Egg

While sitting around the table enjoying our eggs, bacon and pancakes, made by chef daddy.
Jacob asked the kids - "where do eggs come from?"
Ethan with confidence boldly shouted "Egg trees"
Jacob and I both smiled and said, "no - silly, from chickens"
To which Charlie quickly chimed in "Chicken trees"

It was a great way to start this Saturday morning!