His eyes light with the love he held for me
And mine locked on his
Ten years ago we said I do
He said he wouldn't cry and I knew I would
He did
Overwhelmed with a joy that I had not known existed
Until that moment when I was his
 In front of God and everyone
Eternally free to grow with him, laugh with him, hold his hand, and be with him

 For better or worse
And when the worse came it drained our joy
Until we were empty and tired And the love was changed but for the better, stronger, more
And Still "I do" and "He does"
Because when love doesn't feel like it should, it becomes an action
And love does
It wasn't about us but about eternity
 And how we wanted to be found there - together
And how right now, matters And how we weren't good enough for each other, but God was good enough for both of us
Until the joy resurfaced and it was better
Not because we were better
 But because God is a God of love, a God of action and of miracles
And because we learned how to love each other

He loves me with empty things
Like laundry baskets and washing machines, and dishwashers and open car doors
He loves me with patience and understand and silence and time
And how he fills my empty hand with his
(he learned that from his parents) 
He loves me by listening and asking
He loves me by leading me in a way that doesn't feel lead
And I've learned how to let him
He loves me by the emptying of himself
And that kind of love makes me want to be empty for him too
He fills my gaps

This love we share works because, it's empty
It's empty of ourselves
We're not perfect
But God is
And I'm trust Him to keep leading us in the pursuit of this empty love
Love that
Moves and breathes and gives and tries and builds up and forgives and feels and hopes and keeps
Love that is enough when I'm not

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Following your heart is easy, but is it enough?

"It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak.  We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea.  We are far too easily pleased."

- C.S. Lewis (The Weight of Glory, and Other Addresses)

We are encompassed by whispers of self-assurance
It's a self-made, self-reliant culture
Begging for our individual hearts to seek and find personal truth
Wrapped in dreams of temporary,
Built on fleeting pleasure, short-sighted vision and unstable emotion
"Do what feels good, follow your heart"

But assurance within ourselves is unsure at best, continually wavering
And the myth of control will always be found out as such
A myth
For within myself I can not find sustaining truth or grasp lasting pleasure
I can not control their behavior, her cancer, his work schedule, not even my own emotion
So
This beating heart bleeds
This changing emotion lies
And
This short-sighted vision is not worthy of following

I don't want to be self-made
I want to be remade
I don't want to be self-reliant
I want to be dependent
Wrapped in the reality of eternity
Built on unimaginable joy, peace, unchanging truth, purpose and promises

I don't want to do what feels good
I want to do what is right
I can't trust my heart
And so I'll seek His

I don't want to be too easily pleased
I want to be
Challenged
Uncomfortable
Brave
Real
Honest
Seeking
Giving
Trusting in something much more than myself
Encompassed by whispers of truth


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