"You Can't Wear Me Down"

It was just one of those days
Marked by excessive sighing, silent prayers and standing in the corner
To clarify I was not the one in the corner
Homeschool has been this incredible blessing and challenge, all at the same time
Wrapped neatly with a bow, tons of questions and doubts then gifted to me at a surprise party I never saw coming

There are these moments
Moments when I just want to teach math
Double-digit subtraction minus the character lesson

We all have instinctive actions, reactions, and characteristics
Most of them are neither beneficial or becoming
Today it was pride and stubbornness
Tomorrow...who knows?!

And most days I'm not sure if I'm getting it right
I can do double-digit subtraction - easy, it's everything else
Am I building them up enough
Being the example they need
Loving them in a language they understand
Molding them to see God's heart and His desire for them

All I know for sure is that my character still needs refining

And there in the middle of my need, my stubbornness, my pride

He is enough

His grace covers all that I am not

And His Spirit washes over my rough edges, and innate reactions

And so in the middle of math we dive into a lesson of self-subtraction
Choosing perseverance when giving up would be natural
Listening without plotting a rebuttal
Allowing yourself the opportunity to be wrong, and be okay with it
Because in failure, when things are hard, when we persevere, when we listen -
We learn, we grow, and we become more by loosing those pieces of our self

And so I reassure him, and me, with these words

"You can't wear me down" 

I will never be perfect or enough

I will make mistakes

But I will love you the best way I know how

And "I will never quit on you"

And from my own lips the Spirit echoed Gods heart for me...

"You can't wear Me down"
Not with your stubbornness, your pride, or your ignorant self-reliance
"I am here, I am patient, My love is perfect, My grace is enough and I will never quit on you"
Mercy for all that you lack, Grace for every mistake, Love for you - just as you are
"Persevere - Listen - Accept - Subtract"