An honest reflection of me- in fragments. Imperfect- Grace Covered. Balance. Mom. Wife.
Nurse. Homeschool Teacher. Christ follower first. Second changes. Thankful.

Judgmental Christian

Monday, January 27, 2014

I sat on top of a mountain
The majesty of creation stretched before me
Pairs of eyes gazed into mine
With quivering knees
A vulnerable heart
And a deep breath
I spoke
I spoke of my selfishness, my pride, my hypocrisy, my failures
Sex, Lies, Separation, Pain, Thoughts of suicide
Beside me A guy lost in porn who almost wasted everything for it
Another whose skepticism lead him into a life of alcohol, drugs and alienation
Beside them
A girl who couldn't accept her body, abused it, and denied real love
Another who masqueraded different version of self to be anyone, anywhere, fake and fractured

 All of us common
 Sharing in our selfishness
Our need for more
Lost in the lifestyles we'd fashioned
Tired And Overcome
We were lost
And in need
Ready to be found
Courageously laying ourselves down
We found freedom in surrender
And Life

Those eyes that looked into our souls
Those ears that heard our stories
All attached to Christian

Do you know what their response was?
Open arms,
Welcoming us
As sisters and brothers
People with faults
But faults that don't define us
Or dictate our decisions any longer

And my response
Everyday I wake up next to that guy who struggled with porn and we live life together
Unencumbered by our past mistakes,
Not perfect but forgiven
And surrendered to a plan and choices that are greater than we could have imagined
The skeptic we welcome in our home every week
With perspective and patience he is a role model for our son, and teaches him guitar too
The girl who abused her body I call my mentor, and prayer warrior
The fake is my friend, She's whole and 100% herself unwavering

There is no judgement
Only the realization that our choices define us
And when you choose Christ
His love and forgiveness redeem all that you once were
And He is our definition
The ultimate filter for all choices

Who did Jesus love?
What did Jesus say?
How did Jesus live?

Jesus did not leave us a relative or changing truth
He left us a definitive truth
A rock we can build our lives on
And sometimes that means standing up for the things Jesus said
Living differently because that's how Jesus lived
Loving the unloveable because that's who Jesus loved
Being faithful and honest when politically correct would be easier and more accepted

So when you get to the end of yourself and you realize it's empty
When you're tired.
When you're ready
Ready to feel,
Ready to be heard,
Ready to belong,
Ready to be welcomed,
Ready to have peace
Ready to build your life on an immovable foundation

He is waiting
And I'll welcome you
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