What's In A Name?

Your body strained for breath
Helpless, I could not breathe for you
They whisked you away
Leaving my arms empty and my heart aching
Emotions I never imagined existing or feeling - until you were in my arms, and then gone
My head clouded with emotion and questions
Unfamiliar emotion
Questions I could not answer

We named you Ethan
We named you "Warrior"
We named you "Strong One"
I needed you to be a warrior
I needed you to fight
Fight for breath
Fight to know us
Fight to live

We named you Samuel
We named you "Called By God"
We named you "God Has Heard"
I needed God, in a way I had never needed before
I needed Him to hear us
I needed Him to heal you
I needed Him to call you His own, but let you be mine

We prayed
We waited
He answered
And your name was fulfilled

Eight years you have been mine
I pray our years together are many more
And for you my Strong One
I still pray and I hope

I hope, That your breath is not wasted;
Giving words proper respect
- they are not to be uses carelessly, but cautiously
Speaking the truth
- with a loving heart
Enriching others with words of wisdom and knowledge
- shining the light you are blessed to carry
Showing kindness
- using words to build up not tear down

I hope, That your life is fully LIVED;
Being yourself
Loving deeply
Thinking even deeper
Unselfishly giving and serving
Enjoying the creation around you
Running, Fishing, Playing, Writing
Following the WAY, and leading others in it
Standing firm

I hope, That you will BE;
Be A warrior
- who puts on the full armor of God, and stands firm against the devil
- who lives in the light and fights against the darkness
Be strong
- understanding this life is about more than today and about more than just yourself
- standing up for what is right, what is true and for the ones you love
Be called
- listen for His voice
- seek His wisdom
- follow His example and His leading

Saying these words makes my heart, again, ache
Because living in such a way will make you different
Different isn't easy, but it is what we are called to be

For the Love of my eight year old boy, the only name we could agree on, and unsettling hopes and prayers to a God who listens and answers,
ME