Tuesday was day 9 of our home-school experience
Frustration piled on top of impatience, and bad attitudes
And in a wave of emotion

I resigned from my role as home-school teacher
[via text message]

I explained to the G-academy principal
I would continue in my role as 

Janitor

Laundry lady

Cook

Mother
And 

Wife

But could no longer accept the position of teacher
(You'd think sleeping with the principal would help me get my way)
However

Our principal, a patient man, who remains unshaken by the waves of my emotions
Refused to accept my resignation.
And so,
I resigned, to take 5 (which was more like 35)
Free read and quite time is a beautiful thing
I heated up my coffee for the 46th time
Rifled through a pile of papers to find Jacob's love note from the other day
Soaked in his words, a personalized rewrite of Proverbs 3:10-15
Most days, I do not feel like the woman he sees...
He loves me more than I deserve, 
I took a deep breath and allowed the truth he sees to saturate me
After straightening the couch cushions, and fluffing the pillows
I plopped my weary self down for a talk with my Heavenly Father
"I can't do it"
"Did I mis-hear you -This IS what I'm supposed to be doing, right?"
"This isn't easy, and I'm tired"
"Are you sure this was the plan?"
"I'm not good enough or patient enough"
"I need your help..."
And I left it there at His feet....
I resigned.
Resigned, That I could not
But through Him
I could
And He said - "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness"
"You can do all things through Christ, because He will give you strength - rely in My strength"
"Be strong and courageous and do the work...do not be discouraged, for I am with you and will not fail you."

For the Love of, Encouraging husbands, and Resigning to rely on HIM, everyday,
ME

2 Corinthians 12:19, Philippians 4:13, 1 Chronicles 28:20

Robots, Uncles, Questions and Faith

In a time of beauty
Amidst pure relationship, trust and faith
Doubt hissed
"Did God really say?"
She questioned
Then, sought to be like God
Instead of trust in God
Genesis 3:1-4

In a time of triumph
Between darkness and miracles
Unbelief taunted
"Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side I will not believe"
He doubted
But, was not rebuked
For when he saw, he believed
John 20:24-29

CS Lewis said:
"If a thing is free to be good it is also free to be bad.  
And freewill is what made evil possible.  
Why, then, did God give them freewill?  
Because free will, though it makes evil possible, is also the only thing that makes possible any love or goodness or joy worth having.  
A world of automate – of creatures that worked like machines – would hardly be worth creating.  
The happiness which God designs for His higher creatures is the happiness of being freely, voluntarily united to Him."
Then Uncle Josh added...
"I also think that He created us with freewill, because we were created in His image.  
When we look at ourselves, we see people seeking love, and the need to be part of a family.  
God wants us to choose Him, but gave us the choice to do so, because He did not want a forced love, but an authentic love from His creation.  
But as CS Lewis said this is also the reason how and why we hurt Him, because He gave us a choice."

Still today the choice remains...
Seek to be like God
Or
Seek God
He will not rebuke your questions
But show you the answers

Matthew 7:7: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks the door will be opened.
John 3:16-17: For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son that who so ever would believe in him would not perish but have eternal life.  For God did not send his son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.
John 16:33: I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble. But take heart!  I have overcome the world.

I choose Him.