What if the next thirty-one days could be filled with ideas and challenges and words?  

What if I don't have all the answers, but I've been feeling challenged to do different?

What if for thirty one days I type out the questions, the emotions, the challenges, and the Me inside of it?

31 posts in 31 Days.

So I am joining The Nester and her community of over 700 writers who have written 31 posts in just 31 days for the past six years. 

Even if I'm the only one that reads. 

But what if someday she reads it or he does?

Then they will know I was real, and struggled and loved and lived and tried - just like they do and will.  

And what if someone reads, someone searching - here they'll find me - exploring what daring to do different means. 

So for the thirty one days that fill October I will write and question and feel.

31 posts in 31 days

Seems like a different kind of thing to do...

October 1 - Welcome
October 2 - To All Those Who Have Ever Felt Different
October 3 - Unmasking "okay"
October 4 - Saying No To Good Things
October 5 - Driving Up A One Way Street
October 6 - I can be a Light
October 7 - The Indispensable Weaker Woman
October 8 - Following a Servant
October 9 - Body Image - A Surrendered Beauty
October 10 - What! You Too?  Friendship
October 11 - A Bird's-Eye View
October 12 - You're Entitled to Your Own Opinion (Or are you?)
October 13 - life happened :)
October 14 - Holding On To Hope
October 15 - Grace Isn't a Second Chance
October 16 - The Everyday Privilege
October 17 - A Different God
October 18 - Unplanned Pregnancy 
October 19 - Name Calling - Sticks and Stones
October 20 - Trusting the Titanic 
October 21 - 6 Questions to ask about Smart Phones
October 22 - The ROYALS beat the Giants in game 2 of the World Series!!! 
October 23 - Beautiful Transformation
October 24 - Truth or Dare
October 25 - Acting not Reacting
October 26 - Loosing Baby
October 27 - Courageously Ordinary
October 28 - Where are you?  I'm here...
October 29 -
October 30 -
October 31 -

Ready for Goodbye

How do you prepare a heart to ache

Or ready arms for emptiness

Because too soon she will be far away

Her hugs and wild hair

Her silly voice, imagination and spontaneity

Two peas

And she's not ready to go a week without her

I'm not ready 

And so I hold her and we ready 

Ready our hearts 

And whisper what goodbye for now means

While making plans for road trips and Skype dates

Because our readiness doesn't determine how this life goes

Life just goes

And we get to choose how to react

So we look at maps and measure miles in time 

We make plans

And talk about how forever isn't disrupted by distance

But until the day that goodbye is required

Two peas they remain 

Living between make-believe and reality, surrounded by barbies, running with abandon, holding hands, overflowing with passion for everything life and hugging tightly 

Linking Up with Kate Motaung and the Five Minute Friday Writers

Writing for five minutes about one word.

[Moms] You Have Permission To...

You have permission to 

Shower

Lock the door 

Stand with the water dripping down your tired, finger stained body

And wash the yesterday [or two yesterdays] off

You have permission to laugh

Laugh
At yourself, because you're going to take life to seriously if you don't

Laugh
At the tantrum throwing toddler gripping your ankles, 

At the boundary testing, too-cool elementary kid you just sent to the corner
And at the teenager rolling her eyes
Laugh inside and loudly out
Laugh at the day to come because you're prepared,
Or maybe your not - that can make for some laughable moments too

You have permission to
Rest
Let your eyes close when they grow heavy
Sit
Be still, even when they're not
Because coffee is good, but it doesn't fix tired
And even God rested  

You have permission to 

Eat cookies

I mean no-bakes are practically a bowl of oatmeal and chocolate chip cookies contain dark chocolate

I hear oatmeal and dark chocolate are good for your heart

You have permission to 

Not shower

Roll out of bed in those yoga pants

Change your shirt, or don't

Throw your hair in a messy bun and breathe in the day
Because the day's going to happen whether you're clean or not

You have permission to cry

Release the walled up emotion in a snotty ugly cry

Or sit softly with shoulders slumped as salt stains your cheek

Cry

While watching them succeed 

When they walk away

Cry, because you're unsure

For no good reason at all

Because you're filled with joy

Or because the days are long

You have permission to

Not know

Kids don't come with a manual, I've checked - more than once
Sometimes you will say yes, and wonder if you should have said no
Sometimes you will say no, and question if yes would have been okay
Sometimes they'll ask questions you don't have an answer for and you'll make up an answer
You don't have to know
And don't be afraid to admit it - they'll love you for learning with them

You have permission to
Drink coffee
You only get the breaks you take as a Mom - take them
Sit with a friend, decompress, vent, laugh, smile, be filled up
Let the kids run around like crazy and fill up on fruit snacks while you refuel
And if you hate coffee - you have permission to drink your soda or tea or caffeeine of choice without sharing sips

You have permission to
Doubt
Are you messing them up? (My personal favorite)
Do they know how much you love them?
Should it be this hard?
Doubt, Just don't let it paralyze you
They're resilient
Oh and, Decisions and discipline covered with love don't deserve being doubted

You have permission to
Be like your Mom
You turned out okay -- right?
Don't swallow her words that come out of your mouth
Unless they should be swallowed
You also have permission to
Not be like your Mom
Your kids aren't you, and you're not her

You have permission to 

Be yourself

You are the BEST you there is

And the best Mom for the ones you have

Don't compare

Because comparison is the thief joy [this applies to ALL of life]

And God didn't make you to be that Mom - He made you to be their Mom

Linking up today with Meredith Bernard

to encourage women about women issues #woman2woman Wednesday

@forhisgloryblog
And With the lovely Holley Gerth at Coffee For Your Heart