He wasn't one to climb out of the crib
There was no wake of toy destruction nor emptying of cabinets
His words were few, but always mighty
Talking early and surprising us with his love for learning
Quiet, content to be held and listen to a book or sit solo on the floor pushing his cars
Today there is no crib,
And more often than we would like lumbering steps awaken us as he climbs from his loft bed,
Desperate to receive reassurance that the darkness is just that,
Darkness, and nothing more.
Legos are as miniature-mines threatening to pierce your feet
Dirty clothes litter the remain floorspace
Nothing is invaluable and countless works of art clutter his desk
The tip-toe method is often the best maneuvering tactic to get through his room.
His words remain few
His thoughts big and bigger, sparingly shared
But when shared - he challenges me to think, push beyond my comfortable faith.
Of late he's been thinking about God
Why He made us
Gave us free will and LET us sin
Why would He make something [us] that would hurt Him and make Him sad
Knowing ahead of time we would hurt Him and make Him sad
My brain does NOT work like that...
I would say God has blessed me with an unquestioning faith
I don't struggle to believe
I don't need references to history or archaeological evidence to solidify what is in the Word
[though it's definitely nice to know it's out there!]
HE is and so I believe
But I am glad he is a thinker,
So is his Uncle
I'm also glad those are the thoughts he chooses to share.
Because I get the chance to share what I've learned about God
How HE desires a RELATIONSHIP with us
I don't get why
HE is awesome and always GOOD
Me, not so much
But that's is why HE created us - to walk with us, everyday
Freewill, that's another ball of string
Slowly unraveling it, the short answer is
Forced love, forced obedience
Isn't really love or obedience at all
Choosing to obey out of love and respect
Not out of fear or duty
That is when it gets real
Loving is brave and
Obedience is a beautiful tribute to the ONE who loves you
Sin is just a part of this life
It is messy
Painful
Dark
And yeah, it does hurt our creator
But that's why HE made a PLAN for our sin problem to be fixed
And the solution's name is JESUS
My big brown eyed thinker
Accepted that solution
His name is written in the book
But that doesn't mean all the questions are answered
Or that obedience comes easy
It's still a daily choice
And I get to walk with him, as he walks with our KING
Prayerful every step that I get it as close to "right" as possible
And that there's GRACE covering all the times I don't.
For the love of a PLAN I don't have to understand fully, FAITH, Relationship with the Creator of the Universe, and being Mom to a "big thinker",
ME
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3 comments:
Wonderful! Soo Deep of Thoughts! Love you all so much. Mawna
This made me cry. I love your writing. "Prayerful every step that I get it as close to "right" as possible"." :) I have a feeling you are.
Sometimes I wish I didn't struggle to believe. I love that you see that in him and acknowledge it as a part of him instead of forcing things on him. Does that make sense?
Thanks Rachel...and it does make sense. We are all uniquely gifted and I see his need for deeper knowledge as a gift that will drive him to know God more and will bless others!
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