Home

Blue and orange pounded the pale grey
My mind wandered as the music played, feet keeping step to the beat
When the fragrance of the flowering bush carried me away.
To another place,
Another time,
When the 10 minutes between Sunday School and Church seemed like hours
Hiding in the thick flowering-bushes, pressing against the brick, avoiding the bees
And in rain, racing sticks
When church was filled with family and those that knew you the same

Then the smell of lighter fluid and burning charcoal pushed me forward
Past the years of silence,
And into the ones where we were friends, but not room-mates
I was sitting in your condo on my couch
Cheif's game playing
Burgers sizzling, Chips crunching,
E napping on your chest
When family was close and they were your best friends

The further I ran the further it slipped away
Pale in comparison to my bright shoes which continued at pace
And my thoughts circled
To this time,
And this place
The sound of his voice reading to their listening ears welcomed me home

I'm the mom, and trying to teach them to be friends
Playing in the yard, racing on the sidewalk, bouncing on the trampoline
Dirty laundry, and an art work cluttered table

Family outside our four is removed,
Distance forcing intention or complacency creating absence
When they prod, and question about a move "home"
It gets under my skin,
Then I take a breath,
Really, I get what they're saying, and that is "I love you, and miss you"
But
That place where they are isn't home anymore
It doesn't mean we don't love each other
Just, that our lives have different places they fit,
Contrasting places we've made into home
And
It's okay
Because we have a forever home
And we will all be there together someday