For my husband

It's been 5-years today - Happy Anniversary.

Jacob

You are my still and even-tempered fortress, my court-jester, and my encourager.
You easily diffuse the irrational within me, and remind me of the simple-important things.
You coax a smile and laughter from deep within that belongs only to you.
You foster a more-confident view of myself and tolerate my self-loathing moments.
You are more than an equal; you are a quiet leader and willingly serve our home and family.



We have shared unimaginable highs and endured heart-wrenching lows.
We have struggled with our own imperfections, but together our mountain of flaws are easier to climb.
We have gained insight into each others minds and hearts.
We have two beautiful children and cultivate the best in each other as parents.
We have grown together and individually making this family and our marriage better.



Year 1: I recall a general feeling of elation surrounding daily tasks. Scrubbing toilets, making dinner (which almost daily included dessert), picking up your smelly socks...the list could go on and on. We indulged in date-nights, relished each others company and catered to each others needs. Haddie came to live with us and challenged our authority and meager apartment. We learned our family of two was quickly to become a family of three. You graduated from college and began the job search. We made plans...
Year 2 : We moved from our apartment into our first home. You still didn't have a teaching-job, but we forged ahead making plans for me to work only part-time. You patiently tolerated and indulged my pregnancy "cravings" and laziness. I had my first "Mother's Day" as an expectant-mom. Haddie needed to find a new family due to our new-neighbors. With only one-till the start of school, you landed a great job and thus your career began at California Trail Junior High. We decided on the name Ethan Samuel for our little boy and he was born in September, but September was over a month early and we sat at his crib in prayer and watched with anticipation for him to grow stronger so we could bring him home. He came home and he grew, he was a quiet, easy-going baby with the temperament of his daddy. Just as we were adjusting to our new family of three, SURPRISE, we were pregnant again. You allowed me to sulk as I adjusted to the idea of another pregnancy, and after a week you spoke the harsh-but-kind words I needed to awakening me from my sullenness. And so we excitedly awaited the arrival of our second baby into our...
Year 3 : We found out our second baby was baby-girl, and we decided to call her Charlie (the only name we both could agree on). Ethan celebrated his 1st birthday and second Christmas. Josh and Abbey moved back to Fredonia and we grieved the loss of our closets friends and family. We made plans for me to cut-back from working after Charlie's arrival. When Charlie decided to come it was on her timeline, you escaped a speeding-ticket on the way to the hospital and after only two-hours at the hospital Charlie made her debut 2:12 am. She was healthy, but not a very happy baby, and her crying was soothed by very little we could provide. At 5 months she began to crawl and our Charlie-girl began to lighten-up a little. We lived as zombies, sleep-deprived and edgy- but we managed. Our first-home began to show it's normalcy and flaws - and we began to make some minor improvements, a flooded basement prompted us to begin deconstruction and remodeling sooner than anticipated, but we were beginning to learn our limits and our family pitched in. Your secret unveiled - you hurt me. But sin always hurts. So, I bestowed on you the same grace our Father in heaven has given me - we confronted it together, we grew stronger and we moved on.
Year 4 : Ethan celebrated his second birthday, and he informed me multiple times "no mommy, I wear diapers" so we delayed the potty-training experience until age 2 3/4. We discovered the robber of our little girls joy and it was the inability to move or express herself. It was a relief when at 9 1/2 months Charlie started walking; this new found independence provided some happiness and the little girl we now know and love began to bloom. Ethan tolerated his sister invading his space, but inevitably the "mine-war" began. We celebrated the life of our beautiful girl turning one, and she conveniently took a much-needed nap during her own party. Our house remained in a constant state of disrepair or remodel, it was beginning to get to us - so we hired a professional. You excel in your job and it's fun getting to listen to your classroom stories. I only work PRN at the hospital and audit four-times a month for AMC and CTSystems (but I miss nursing). Our summer was spent at the pool and with new best-friends Ian, Booke and Heath Gariss.
Year 5 : No more fussing with the house, our basement is complete, we have two-full remodeled bathrooms and all new plumbing that works, for now our work is done. We continue to grow as parents as our children mature and need in new ways. Ethan is completely potty-trained! He celebrated his third birthday with a train ride (friends and family all-aboard). He is so bright, has such a gentle spirit and amazes us daily. Thanksgiving - we were surprised again, but happy to find out we were pregnant again (no sulking this time). But our joy turned to fear when I started bleeding, a simple blood test confirmed a low-hormone level (easily fixed) and a sonogram confirmed a heart beat, I prepared myself for a hot and "big" summer and looked forward to our due date of August 4th. Our nephew Briggs was born in December and we celebrated with Josh and Abbey. It was with heavy hearts we found out only one week later that we had lost our baby (10 1/2 weeks into the pregnancy). Surgery was recommended and I endured it. Ethan was sad we didn't get to keep our baby "I wanted our baby to live with us, mommy" he told me, but he seemed to comprehend (in a way I yet was unable) when we explained that our baby had died and was going to live with Jesus in heaven. Only two-days after the surgery we celebrated Charlie's life, her second-birthday. She is now a joyous, head-strong, talkative little beauty who often refers to herself as "princess". Ethan and Charlie still compete in the "mine-wars" but for the most part they play-pretend together, share their things and help get each other into and out-of trouble. We get a little more sleep than the early years. You're getting ready to go back to school for your master's degree-applying for a high school teaching position, and I'm back at KU part-time with benefits.
We are blessed with each other, our children, family, friends and most of all God's love and grace. And I am excited to begin our Year 6.

I love you Jacob